Leaving Alcatraz and Starting my New Life !!

So my time at Stanmore was coming to an end. Nearly seven months as home, it had now become my prison ! After a year of hospitalization, institution food, regulated daily regimes and not having had to think for myself. A daunting thought of re-entering society as a disabled being ready to face my new challenges. I was excited, but very apprehensive of my own reaction to fitting back in. The depressing corridors, small single room, endless hours of boredom, the smells, the constant care, the reassurance of "on hand" help if I needed it........... I was gutted, I was fearful, I was excited ! A mixture of emotions not really able to explain, but realizing deep down that the confidence I once had in life, was no longer there. My road to recovery had so far been pretty good, but it was time to take that further step forward in order to build further steps in going forward with building more independence within myself. My discharge date was set for 28th August. This was it !! My bubble of security to be whipped away in order for me to move on. My care package now in place and with two days prior to release, I meet my two carers who are summoned to C Block for training prior to being transported home to my sterile home, so great fully acquired through the Aspire Charity. My good byes, my independence thrown at me, and finally the transport arrives to take me home !!! A feeling of utter insecurity, a feeling of " what if, what now " etc etc, and a feeling of total vulnerability as the door to my apartment closes as the settling in team leave !!! So here I am, with two vertual strangers in my face, 24/7, in my adapted apartment, out and to get on with it. Having precious little self esteem, confidence or faith in the community system, it was literally " do, or die ". I quickly adapted to the system, and decided to fight ! Not only for my independence, but for the life I had before ! That was and isn't to be. I am still the person that I was before, but with more challenges as before !! Tomorrow marks my two year anniversary of this debilitating condition or journey that has been handed down to me. I will conquer, and I will fight it until the end. I firmly believed that after two years I would be up and running again ! Sadly, that's not to be at the moment. I have embraced my situation, will work with it as long as it takes and most importantly, make a difference to others who find themselves in the same, if not worse position. I'm not regretful, sad, or envious of those able bodied people that are able to J-walk, hop cabs, climb steps etc etc etc, but rather, thankful that I, at least had 50 odd years of being able to walk !! I am positive, embracing, and willing to face this head on, with no great expectations ! I have beaten the demons, accepted where I am and thank you all for the amazing encouragement !! All so greatfully accepted in my Long Walk to Freedom. Sent to you all with love, and ongoing good health wishes !!! G.