Thank You Annelie........... !!!

Now, you just gotta understand that this blog is gonna be a bit random ! Meaning that time scales, incidents, funnies, lows, and episodes might jump around a bit. This is not an apology, just a warning that in writing, at the mo, my mind is all over the place and rather than waste time in time zoning - I am just going to let it flow............

My previous blog was full of good positive energy, and how we need to embrace 2015, etc, etc, etc,............. Well friends, I hit the first wall on the 6th, yes........ Me, yes............ I lost the will to live again ! Personal wall of confidence, positive energy etc obliterated by the circle of life ! Broken down, leaving me vulnerable to those awful dark lurgies that can infest the mind so easily. I landed up in hospital ( Aunt Bessie's farm )

A good comparison would be...............

Do you remember schooldays, when the holidays were nearing ? The rich kids were going skiing
' abroad ', the slightly less rich kids were flying to Cape Town, then the middle of the road kids were going to their time share in Umhlanga, and the lesser rich kids were going to Margate or ' The Jewel of the South Coast '. Then there was always that one kid from no means, who was going to his Aunt Bessie's farm !!!

Aunt Bessie's farm was just south of a town called 'Ag Fok Nie ' on that road called ' Hardly Ever Travelled ', situated about 600 Kms due north of Cape Town, about 120  Kms south of ' Hoe Kom ?',
And took at least 18 hours to get there in a soured up Chevy with no air-con !! Dad expressing his enthusiasm about one of his new inventions ( not that any of his previous ones worked ) , mom
continually fiddling with her hair pins to ensure her ' Trust Bank ' do stayed in place. Three kids o
the back seat and the kid from school sat in the middle. Sheer boardom causing the kids to bicker and fight, mom reaching over the seat and slapping whoever was nearest. To alleviate the boredom , the family played ' Eye Spy ' - the only question " S " ...... The only answer...... " Sand ".

Finally the Chevy pulls into the Aunt Bessie's driveway, passing the 20 year old sign " My Dream ". Aunt Bessie's, being dads spinster sister, aged about 55, slightly rotund and who moved away from the family town 20 years ago to make her fortune selling party cakes to the nearby town ' Hoe Kom ', which had a population of 92. Funny thing about " Hoe Kom ", is that whoever got divorced, still remained brother and sister - win win all round !. ( Ever seen the movie ' Deliverance ' ).

Perfect place to drop off the kids for their three week holiday, well, at least the parents thought. Out runs Aunt Bessie to welcome the family to hell ! 40 Degrees, miles and miles of nothingness, hundreds of free range chickens scratching  the desert sand in search of anything edible - free range,
load of shit, all look like they have overdone the Scarsdale diet. One pathetic looking sheep ( being
fattened for Xmas ), poor thing looked half dead ! One moth eaten, desert beaten Nguni cow hugging a leafless thorn tree, ever hopeful of a return to its native pastures. An even more sorrowful sight of a paddock of flea ridden Karoo lamb. No running water and a windmill with a broken pump !!!

So if that does not depress you, nothing will.............. I see my folks off on the 5th, ready to throw myself into work, and embrace the new year ! I spend the morning of the 6th with Jo, ordering various computer stuff for my home office. Wham, Bam, Boom ! The universe tilts to the left, and the
circle of life has other motives. Out of the blue, and I mean with NO warning my body gives in, carers taking my blood pressure, ambulance called, I have little conscience recollection apart from that dreaded siren and vague memories of some ambulance nurse sticking needles and pipes into me. Oh God No !!!! Please not me, and as I start drifting off I realise I am on the road called " Hardly

Ever Travelled ", Shit !!!! I am on my way to Aunt Bessie's Farm - HOSPITAL !

So I wake up the next morning, and YES, here I am in a ward with three other half dead looking people. The doc comes around and explains what had happened, when the tubes will be removed and I would need to be monitored for a further 5 days !!! I am guttered, still a bit dazed, but certain I would be ok with in a few hours.

By day 2, my skin looked like a lizards skin. My chest is closing, my eyes red as robots, JUST like when it all began over a year ago. Sorry friends, but there was no embracing this ! The 93 year old man opposite me staring at me, but not seeing anything. Poor guy, reminded me of Aunt Bessie's emaciated cow. His gums were a pleasant sight - baring a top tooth and a bottom tooth, neither of
which were communicating with one another ! The top one chiseled to 93 years of gnashing , and the bottom one heavily stained and loose ! Looked like he could eat an apple through a picket fence !!

The man next to him was obese and being treated for a stomach cyst - I kid you not, the size of a
diner plate. He proudly revealed this festering mass to whoever walked past. Lovely !!! In my mind I had, as I always do, already nicknamed him as ' Pus-Bubble '

The bed to my left was occupied, but the curtains completely drawn around him. Nurses scurrying in and out, wispering tones....... I nick-named him ' Hidden Corpse ' all three of them coughing and spluttering like diesel pumps with no fuel !

By Friday morning, after another nigh of no sleep, physically fine, but emotionally not so good, I had two choices - either remain here and give up OR, take my chances and discharge myself. The latter
being a little frightening, but I just knew I could not stay on Aunt Bessie's Farm !!!!

I made the choice to take my chances and discharge myself. I ask for the sister in charge, plead my case to a very board looking woman, who says I must wait for the doctors round - these I know from
past experience are very irratic and could be quite late in the day which means discharge would not happen, and it is Friday, no discharge likely on a Saturday or Sunday !!!!

So, I make a call to God, He is on answer phone, so I leave a long winded message as to how unfair He has been, and how I am feeling like Aunt Bessie's sheep in his flock etc etc etc. Eventually he gets back to me. AND, I now demand to see the doctor on duty ! A frustrated, tired, overworked doc arrives at my bedside........ He just happened to be the guy that admitted me. I TELL him my plan and demand all drips be removed, and insist I good order home with oral meds to finish my antibiotic course. He try's to argue all the medical stuff with me and how dangerous a position I am putting myself in etc etc etc. I am not buying into it, and after agreeing to sign " It's against medical advice " form, the long process of discharge begins !! My mood lifts, my gut stiffens as to taking responsibility, and still the feeling of embracing the year has not returned. In fact I feel like an SP session coming on ! Not good.

7pm that evening my ambulance arrives to pick me up. Staffed by 2 rather butch looking woman. One with more flabby rolls than a wholesale bakery, and boobs that would give the buoyancy of the QE2 liner a good go !!! And the other as skinny as a rake with the longest neck I have ever seen - I am now handed over to " Stick & Stock " and no longer the responsibility of the NHS !

We arrive at my apartment block and double whammy, stretcher does not fit into lift ! " Stock" waddles up to the second floor to call my carer and to bring my wheelchair. So, here I am in the foyer and have to transfer. Trouble is stretcher does not lower enough to chair level - Stick, Stock and carer attempt a sit up transfer ..... To no avail !, So we grab a passing visitor, asking for help ........ To no avail,........ So we ambush another two passers by !. Six people in the foyer trying to get me into the chair manually - we get very odd stares, but finally get into the chair, up and into my paradise ! Home !!

Quite unexpectedly, prior to my farm visit, I had a call from Annelie. Someone I have known for many many years, but have not had any contact with for eons. She lives in Vienna, and was in London for a limited period of time and wanted to meet for coffee. As fate would have it, our coffee date turned into a lunch date and the two of us were able to have an amazing catch up. She gave me three different references related to my condition. One in PARTICULAR, is something everybody should watch !! It is Awsome ! And I googled it and watched the You Tube video. Search ' Jill Bolte's - My stroke of lighting ' - Powerful, enlightening , uplifting and encouraging !! It pertains to all walks of life, abled or disabled is irrelevant.

Thank you, thank you, thank you Annelie for sharing your precious time with me and more so for your sharing with me the Jill Bolte's details. For it was from what I gained out of this video that I drew on what little reserve I had left after my farm stint ! God has a funny sense of humour, coz just as I was about to give up again......... The lesson of this video pulled me back into line and started to re-affirm my resilience to life's little hurdles.

So, my friends, it is ok to slide backwards, it is ok to break every now and then, SP days are fine, but always make sure that there is that little " reserve " left, what ever it is, somewhere in the subconscious.

I am back on top of the circle of life, full of energy to re-embrace 2015, and looking forward to nurturing and improving on the little changes that are occurring within my body !!!

As always, sent with love, and ongoing good health wishes . Let's attack this year with positive energy and a belief of only accepting the good things.

G.
PS : next blog will fill you in on the hilarities of the " Jeeve's " !