My weekend 'double up ' , the amazing Rameez, is commissioned to get me to Kingston for a lunch date with the family here prior to everyone's departing to whatever part of the world they are destined for ! A function that Nic organizes every year - Thanks Nic xxx. Last year, unable to attend, bed-bound in hospital was probably one of the most depressing days of my condition, as I realised then that my life would probably never be the same again, and I was missing something that I had enjoyed so much in the past !
A year later, proudly so, I can say I attended the lunch - albeit in a chair, and in ' not the same ' condition, but I made it !!! If, from what heard of last years lunch, Tom & Del had a ball - probably the only real break they had from the endless hospital visits ! Those beautiful cousins of mine plying them with love, light, and laughter - booze ' excluded ' !!! I, of course am nearly 2 hrs late ! But, I can hide behind the 'cripple ' thing and am excused by everyone........ Greeted with an unbelievable energy by all, and again embrace the slow but painful realization that this is a long road ahead, BUT, I am at least trying to get to the end of it, and again with many cul-de-sac's that await the future - this is and will be my path for the now !
On the train up, Rameez starts to tell me about a patient he is taking care of during the week, who has a particular condition that requires a certain body suit........... And how people stare ! He asks me how I have managed to deal with the same ? Me ? Why ? Who ? ......... Stares ?? Suddenly it dawns on me... Yes, 'they' do !! Something that I have not conscientiously observed - perhaps coz I do not see in myself. Getting on and off trains, busses, tubes etc etc...... They DO stare ! An extraordinary feeling overcomes me - this has to be temporary !! What the F#%ck ! I will just have to stare back. It works !!! Their eyes are diverted way before mine !
A fabulous afternoon, a call to Rameez to collect me to chaperone me home, I leave with a sense of achievement. I have started building hours for work, and more importantly, am making an effort to reintroduce myself into socializing again ! Xmas 2014 here I am ! And note to self ,,, Xmas 2015, gotta be up on my feet !
As I sit looking out over the railway line, sipping my last PG of the evening, I realise just how far I have come in a year. I thank you all for the constant sense of encouragement ! Don't give up yet ! This journey might be a long one, but there is many a laugh to come before it ends.
Finding my legs again, is just beginning !
With love and ongoing health !
G.
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