Many of you would have seen the pics I posted on Facebook showing my beautiful hanging troughs of blooming flowers. Well, as the weather Gods were not on my side this past week, they decided that my area needed some wind ! And I don't mean the wind experienced when the Jeeve's do my pressure relief by doubling me over in my chair to lift my ass off the cushion to gain relief - an excersize performed at least four times a day as prescribed by Alcatraz !! It evolves pulling me forward much like the " brace " position explained on an aircraft prior to take off. As you can imagine, this is not as becoming as loosing cabin pressure - rather an unsightly body being forced downwards, squashing the diaphragm , putting pressure on the stomach and ultimately moving all 'air' downwards ......... The only exit being the ' flu-shoot ' !!!!!. I say no more.
So...... The real wind arrives around my neck of the woods, blasts the Daff buds to burgery, turns the Cyclomin flowers into " up-side-down " butterfly's trying desperately hard to right themselves, blows the crap out of the Barlaria blossoms and petrify's the Petunia's ! The herbs and Ivy plunder on un-fazed ! I give up until next week when I can go to Columbia Road flower market and replace them all.
This past month has seen a change in my meds schedule. The CEO of Alcatraz ( my consultant ) has been weening me off one or two of the drugs, whilst increasing the dosage of another in the ongoing saga of trying to find the ideal cocktail for my condition. As you can appreciate, all SCI patients are different in presentation, and this process of elimination can be quite tricky. So on Monday, as scheduled, my Baclofen dosage ( anti spasmodic ) goes full tilt - max dosage as per NHS standards ! And my Tizanadine stopped completely - WHAM !!!!!.......... Late afternoon on Monday, I start to feel a little odd, I deteriorate to a little disorientated stage, call for the Jeeve's and ask to be put on the bed. Check bladder, catheter , bowels, skin..... All ok ! Put it down to tiredness and drift off la la land.
Tuesday arrives, and as per regime Jeeve comes in to wake me - I ask him what time the taxi is
collecting us to take us to the airport ?, Andreas arrives and I ask him why he is working on a weekend ?........... My body is limp, mouth dry and crusty, and I ask them to please take the spiders off the roof !!! They " shit their cakes ", call the GP, who immediately sends a doctor over. Call for an ambulance they are instructed by the GP. Through my ' drunken ' haze I refuse to go to hospital until I have spoken to the CEO from Alcatraz. She calls, has a giggle with me on the blower and says " calm down people " it is the upped dosage of Baclofen ! Immediately reduce dosage, and the only place I am going is my own journey to wherever until it works its way out of my system. Gotta give her credit for the thrice daily calls to see how my trip was going !
It so reminded me of years ago when recreational drugs were so in ! We partied on " E ", tried coccain, were care free and untouchable ( or at least we thought so ), life was a laugh, and weekends were decadent fun with dancing in the clubs until sunrise, then heading to the beachfront for an oily breakfast to try come down off the absurd chemicals ingested the previous evening, only to start the following weekend with the same routine. Looking back on it today, I cannot believe how empty and in-fulfilling my life was then. There are a number of good friends of mine who knew what I was up to in those days, and today, I thank them for their constant efforts to keep me out of the gutter - Di, Dee, Rob, Greg............. To name a few ! ( Funny, I have never admitted this, and now I am on my blog ! )
So, back to real time - the insomnia, spiders, trips to far and wide continued for the next 72 hours. Doctor visits daily, district nurse visits, and very, very, very edgy Jeeve's ! The OD passed which saw me up in my chair again by Thursday ! And completely healed by Friday. That is why, friends, that I posted that clip of the horse kicking the shit outa that guy on FB - I felt just like I hade been hoofed by a mare !!!
In going forward, and slowly getting to grips with more realisation of where I am at in life, I decided that I need more control. Control of my destiny, control of my being, control of my half working body, but more so control of my confidence ! All shattered by some unsuspecting bleed from brain to spinal cavity which has altered my lifestyle to beyond the extreme, played havoc with my emotions and questioned my belief in any higher being ! BUT, still I honestly believe that it is all for a reason, as unfair as I may believe, is irrelevant ! This, for some reason is NOT my call.
Again, back on track and ready to hit London rolling, I make a decision to be taken by Rameez yesterday to Kings Cross /St Pancreas station to confront the Eurostar offices about travelling abroad being in the 4 x 4. We opted for the bus mode as apposed to the underground - thankfully. All plain sailing and pleasantly surprised how well equiped they are for chair users !
Our trip back was far more interesting ! Choosing to alight the bus and wheel / walk across London Bridge brought a new meaning of freedom and havoc to the tourists now flooding in to London for the spring / summer. I take no enemies !!! Apart from hooting and full tilting with Rameez screaming and shouting " ' scuz mee " we do the bridge having disrupted umpteen photographs of tourists having their pics taken with Tower Bridge in the background.
We get to Tooley Street where we have to connect with the 381, and a short ride back home. Having knocked a few shins, almost run over a Chiuawa dog......... Rameez asks me if we can catch our breath at the bus stop and have a cig. I am only to pleased but inform him that my hand is to cold to remove the glove ! No problem, we line up for my entry up the bus ramp - waiting for the bus, he lights us each a lung laxative, holds both, one in each hand and casually pops mine between my lips when I need to draw on some fumes !!! Now that's what I call a Jeeves !!!!!
As always my friends, sent with love and ongoing good health wishes !!
Remember the shadows to remain behind you if you are to be moving forward.
G
No comments:
Post a Comment