Depression is a state of mind. Some need hormone tabs to balance the inner makings of the grey matters make up !, some don't. Some need constant excersizing to keep the endorphins flowing, and some are just hard-arsed about seeking any kind of help. Whatever, whichever and whoever...... It is a condition that need not have any kind of stigma attached ! But unfortunately there is one, and tonight, I would like to stress that there are many people that suffer this condition, that need to know that ' happy pills ' can change your life ! No stigma ! No explanation needed, and no judgement required ! To this opening, I dedicate this blog to MK, whocould not take it any longer ! RIP gentle soul.
The week has started off with an amazing bang ! All Jeeves's pleasant and cordial to one another during shift change over, and our last weeks factions seem to have sunk in ! I will no longer refer to them as ' Jeeves's ', but rather as ' convicts '. Convicts of their own four walls hidden in their brains, not allowing themselves the freedom to think out of the box, beyond where the shit paper is put next to the loo, how much bleach is needed to clean a drainage trap etc, etc. all a little confused with me, as after my morning shower, I normally make my way to the balcony door for a coffee and a cigg.
Previously, the convicts would join for a catch up and a day planning chat. As of this am, I do the same, but when they attempt to join, I simply announce that this will, from now on, be my own private time and space to gather my thoughts and game plan for the day ! I do so. Then a quick reckie around the flat, and I bitch and moan about the dust on the entrance table, wet towel on the bathroom floor, no provision made for my dressing regime, and lastly that the place is falling into a ' tip ' condition. Why are my pills not ready ? Etc etc etc. NEVER before have they seen me like this, and never again will they not !!!!! The atmospher changes - where is the morning paper?, where is my breakfast, why is the washing machine going on full tilt with only half a load.......... They instantly start to hate me !, but in all honesty, it's themselves they are hating coz, from friendly Jeeves they have now become the 'help' required and expected from the agency ! It may be construed as being a Prima Donna, but it has to be the way in going forward ! Second live-in convict, tried to have diner with me this evening and catch up with the cricket history of the last two weeks ! Firstly, I don't follow cricket, and secondly I prefer to eat alone and catch up on the news - I express this, only to be asked if I would be interested in hearing the story of his sons Holy Communion in Rome in May.!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,', NO............. Peace resumes in the lounge and I am left alone to ponder life, meditate with my beloved larva lamps and burning tea-lights ! Not long till bedtime ......
I hate being like this, but have finally come to the realisation that Eugene was right from the beginning. They simply cannot be your friends ! I am awoken by live in convict - 20 minutes late, although at the time I am unaware of this, and ask for my mobile - I realise the time and challenge the fact. ' Sorry, I over-slept '. Not good enough I retort, only to be informed that " no-body is perfect " !!!, and I need to cut a little slack. Not what I wanted to hear ! Andreas ( daily convict ) arrives a greets me as " Sir ".......... Gotta love him. Out of all of them he is the gentle giant with a heart of gold. I do not have any issues with him and really enjoy him being at my side constantly ! He is and always has been nothing but respectful. The regime finishes, I make my way to the balcony for my coffee, and not a convict to be seen ! I hear in the background serious plotting and planning with the cleaning routine.
Like a tadpole out of water, I am frantically processing chores to be done to keep them out of my hair. Freezer de-frosting needed, potted plants to be tended, de-scaling of kettle, sink and counter worktops, blinds to be dusted, floors to be polished......... You name it ! And to throw in the pressure relief, excersises, and checks needed in my daily routine ! If they disliked me yesterday, they REALLY don't like me today !!!! Chief convict approaches me with a request to visit the embassy to collect his passport - an excersize that could see him gone most of the day. I ask him why he had not collected it last week when he was off for 7 days ? He was too busy - My answer was simple.. No ! Do it in your own time - you have a responsibility to the agency as well as to me, and you are welcome to request replacing. Long face for most of the day, but hay-ho, it's now about ME.
So enough about the staff compliment and all it trivial shyte that goes with it, albeit still a little chilly, we are experiencing a few hours of blue sky's now. Sun rising and setting earlier and later, and the odd bird Twitter heard ! Yes spring is upon us, and as the trees separating myself and Brit Rail come into leaf london life becomes somewhat more cheerie ! There seems to be more of a spring in the people's step and more of a bounce in my wheels when out and about.
As another week draws to a near end - this one being a short one, to those that celebrate - happy Easter !
Will return soon with a far more newsier blog, have a few outings planned which over the next week or so which are destined to find me creating hell in London Town !!! Will keep you posted !,
As always, sent with love and ongoing good health wishes !
G.
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