Depression is a state of mind. Some need hormone tabs to balance the inner makings of the grey matters make up !, some don't. Some need constant excersizing to keep the endorphins flowing, and some are just hard-arsed about seeking any kind of help. Whatever, whichever and whoever...... It is a condition that need not have any kind of stigma attached ! But unfortunately there is one, and tonight, I would like to stress that there are many people that suffer this condition, that need to know that ' happy pills ' can change your life ! No stigma ! No explanation needed, and no judgement required ! To this opening, I dedicate this blog to MK, whocould not take it any longer ! RIP gentle soul.
The week has started off with an amazing bang ! All Jeeves's pleasant and cordial to one another during shift change over, and our last weeks factions seem to have sunk in ! I will no longer refer to them as ' Jeeves's ', but rather as ' convicts '. Convicts of their own four walls hidden in their brains, not allowing themselves the freedom to think out of the box, beyond where the shit paper is put next to the loo, how much bleach is needed to clean a drainage trap etc, etc. all a little confused with me, as after my morning shower, I normally make my way to the balcony door for a coffee and a cigg.
Previously, the convicts would join for a catch up and a day planning chat. As of this am, I do the same, but when they attempt to join, I simply announce that this will, from now on, be my own private time and space to gather my thoughts and game plan for the day ! I do so. Then a quick reckie around the flat, and I bitch and moan about the dust on the entrance table, wet towel on the bathroom floor, no provision made for my dressing regime, and lastly that the place is falling into a ' tip ' condition. Why are my pills not ready ? Etc etc etc. NEVER before have they seen me like this, and never again will they not !!!!! The atmospher changes - where is the morning paper?, where is my breakfast, why is the washing machine going on full tilt with only half a load.......... They instantly start to hate me !, but in all honesty, it's themselves they are hating coz, from friendly Jeeves they have now become the 'help' required and expected from the agency ! It may be construed as being a Prima Donna, but it has to be the way in going forward ! Second live-in convict, tried to have diner with me this evening and catch up with the cricket history of the last two weeks ! Firstly, I don't follow cricket, and secondly I prefer to eat alone and catch up on the news - I express this, only to be asked if I would be interested in hearing the story of his sons Holy Communion in Rome in May.!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,', NO............. Peace resumes in the lounge and I am left alone to ponder life, meditate with my beloved larva lamps and burning tea-lights ! Not long till bedtime ......
I hate being like this, but have finally come to the realisation that Eugene was right from the beginning. They simply cannot be your friends ! I am awoken by live in convict - 20 minutes late, although at the time I am unaware of this, and ask for my mobile - I realise the time and challenge the fact. ' Sorry, I over-slept '. Not good enough I retort, only to be informed that " no-body is perfect " !!!, and I need to cut a little slack. Not what I wanted to hear ! Andreas ( daily convict ) arrives a greets me as " Sir ".......... Gotta love him. Out of all of them he is the gentle giant with a heart of gold. I do not have any issues with him and really enjoy him being at my side constantly ! He is and always has been nothing but respectful. The regime finishes, I make my way to the balcony for my coffee, and not a convict to be seen ! I hear in the background serious plotting and planning with the cleaning routine.
Like a tadpole out of water, I am frantically processing chores to be done to keep them out of my hair. Freezer de-frosting needed, potted plants to be tended, de-scaling of kettle, sink and counter worktops, blinds to be dusted, floors to be polished......... You name it ! And to throw in the pressure relief, excersises, and checks needed in my daily routine ! If they disliked me yesterday, they REALLY don't like me today !!!! Chief convict approaches me with a request to visit the embassy to collect his passport - an excersize that could see him gone most of the day. I ask him why he had not collected it last week when he was off for 7 days ? He was too busy - My answer was simple.. No ! Do it in your own time - you have a responsibility to the agency as well as to me, and you are welcome to request replacing. Long face for most of the day, but hay-ho, it's now about ME.
So enough about the staff compliment and all it trivial shyte that goes with it, albeit still a little chilly, we are experiencing a few hours of blue sky's now. Sun rising and setting earlier and later, and the odd bird Twitter heard ! Yes spring is upon us, and as the trees separating myself and Brit Rail come into leaf london life becomes somewhat more cheerie ! There seems to be more of a spring in the people's step and more of a bounce in my wheels when out and about.
As another week draws to a near end - this one being a short one, to those that celebrate - happy Easter !
Will return soon with a far more newsier blog, have a few outings planned which over the next week or so which are destined to find me creating hell in London Town !!! Will keep you posted !,
As always, sent with love and ongoing good health wishes !
G.
Tuesday, 31 March 2015
Sunday, 29 March 2015
Webbed Feet !!!
So here I am again, putting finger to key to update you guys on the trials and tribulations of chair-bound life in my world. From an up-beat previous blog to an opening of a bitch session out of sheer frustration of trivial shit that people can get so worked up about !!! My last week has been, as far as I was concerned, plain sailing !!! OH NO, apparently not..........
Casually minding my own business, sipping PG, and train spotting - just before the Oaks come into leaf and block out my morbid views of the tracks, I hear tippy toes behind me and here is primary Jeeves ! Wanting a " meeting ". Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, " What now " ?????. The meeting begins and ends with the trivial bullshit I had so believed we had sorted last week. Pathetic moaning as to how the double ups are not adhering to his standards etc etc etc etc - all awfully boring and never ending !. He is good, he is in fact excellent, but to an extreme and beyond any bodies expectations ! He wants to leave and find another placement where the " patient " is more supportive. It's now 10pm, and I have listened to this menial drivel of teaspoons not being placed in the same direction in the cutlery holder to dry, carton of milk on the left hand side of fridge inner door instead of right hand side etc etc. " Fine ". I am now so fed up with all these insignificant, minor, pathetic carer games played out between all of them, all in constant compition to gain my approval - Why ?, I don't know.
I think, by now you would agree that I am a " survivor ", and from the onset, I have had primary Jeeves, been totally reliant, and totally at ease with him. But as time has gone by, he has become so possessive, that if I have a laugh with the double ups, his mood changes to doom and gloom, and he starts picking on them and making the atmosphere rather tense. I have had enough ! I ask him to give me 10 minutes to digest his gripes, pour another PG, and make a decision based on my gut feel. I call him back and say " I have thought about it, and in going forward, I would like him to pack his things in the morning and leave. I will contact the agency and take my chances on temp help until a suitable replacement is found " Many of you here in London have witnessed how unbelievably attentive and good he is to me, but I cannot and will not have a gun put to my head any longer. WELL, he does a double take, and starts retracting, he can be more flexible, willing to try harder with Rameez and Andreas ( Double ups ) etc etc etc. I stand my ground and thank him for his unbelievable help these past 6 months, but it cannot go on anymore.
I am now in Poo Street - Live-in carer now dismissed and I cannot function without one. Feeling a little vulnerable, but know that any crisis can be resolved ! Even if it means having to hire private care until Monday comes and then it becomes the agencies problem ! Of course, I am calling his bluff, unyet taking a bit of a chance. I have made it quite clear though, that any future assignment for ongoing care work will require a reference from myself. So.... As much of a gun he is holding to my head, I have the AK47 to his. I don't like playing these kinda games, but it is now about MY life - not theirs !!!!
Bouncing in this morning, with a new attitude, much needed apologies and a renewed vision of working together with the double ups, comes primary Jeeves. We are all resolved, household back to cheerie self and from now on it has been agreed between all parties that none of them are friends, and from now on they will be staff - any discrepancies between their testosterone differences will be addresses directly to myself for sorting out. So we run smoothly until the next episode !! God knows how Bill Gates, Oppenheimer etc etc managed with thousands of employees ? It is hard enough with four ! Or is it ???
With spring officially here, and an abortive trip to the nursery a few weeks ago, I remembered that the Borough market had a few plant stalls. Albeit rather expensive, this market is world renounce, and would give me a good gap to get out and about. Rameez and I prep to go, bus 47 or 381, ten minute ride and we are there. All working well until, on the bus a very polite passenger points out that my wheelchair is " leaking ". Leaking ? . I ask........... F@@k, honey, this ain't no 2 struck, petrol driven chair ! This is one hugely powered electric 4 x 4 - she does not get it ! We exit the 381, only for Rameez to tell me that I am in fact leaving a trail of residue as I am wheeling. We stop to do a quick check - cathater in place, chair seems fine ............ Only to discover the tap to leg bag is open - yes I pee'd from Bermondsey to London Bridge, down the leg, through my shoe etc etc, so here we are the two of us on LND taking off my shoe, wringing out my sock and trying not so hard to be discreet ! We made the market, bought some really cool plants for the boxes on the patio and bolted home to get my urine infested foot sorted ! Note to self, always carry extra socks and emergency pumps !
Off the bus we get, at the stop near my favourite store - local charity shop ! Love them !! So Chav, but I don't care ! I have Rameez running in and out ( can't get in, step too hectic ) with various things that catch my eye. Found a hand painted Art Deco " dumb waiter " , £5, which now serves as my PG holder whilst I have diner ! Only in London !!!
Tomorrow, hopefully, will be going to the Ideal Home Show in Earls Court, wher John ( Lise's ) husband is exhibiting his new ' green ' homes - please google - they are unbelievable !!!!! And, he built a ramp to the entrance in order for ME to get in. Love Ya John !,,
Lise' , being my IT guru, and good she is, is gonna come down and spend a day with me to update, spruce up, and streamline my blog page - I am determined to get onto the best 10 disabled blogs in the world. Also have a new venture in the pipeline, very early stages though to do something to raise money for SCI that will attract world wide attention and awareness ! Whatch this space !! And please share my blog.
Sent with love and ongoing good health wishes !
Remember to tell the ones you love, and broken bridges don't mend themselves - be the bigger person !
Love Ya
G.
Wednesday, 25 March 2015
Slow, but steady !!
It is with great pride that I can report various changes to my " half mop " body !. What will seem like absolute trivia to you, means mountains for me with this ongoing, re-building of my body - with the determination to get out of the 4 x 4 and walk again. All the Jeeves's ( who I will tell you about later ), now have a strict program to adhere to with regards to excersizes ! Wake up call at 6, leg excersises, then the usual morning regime of getting ready for the day ! - already exhausted !, but gotta keep the shadows behind you. Then upper body excersizes three times a day, and fitting in the standing frame at least 4 times a week, coupled with the electro pads to stimulate nerve ending growth. All sounds horrendously time consuming, but have mastered the art of time management and can be on my computer all at the same time - As Tess would say " You Rock " !!
Body odour, sweaty feet and various body appendages feeling temp changes ! Yes..... Who on Gods earth wants to smell their own sweat ??? Yes please...... I DO ! Sweaty feet .....??? Yes please ! And now both ears, right arm, parts of left hand side and both my cheeks can feel the chilly London air !! Small, and I mean SMALL tickles felt in left leg ! All very minor, but ground breaking stuff for me ! All I can ask is that as small an improvement it is, to understand the effect on ones morale in fighting the odds of being banished to a cripples existence by life's unforseen handout.
The Jeeves - Well, what can I say ....... Still trying hard to find the fourth link to complete the chain, but as yet to no avail. Eugene is back with me this week, and all running smoothly - still shitting on the double ups for their minor slip ups of insignificance, however, he runs the place with such style, elegance and a fierce protective value for my wellbeing ! The only fight we have is his unbelievable food concoctions that he insists on putting double cream in ! I am supposedly on diet ! The daily Italian, Andreas, is a gem ! His partial English knowledge and mumbled sentences all taken in the days stride. He is attentive, caring and his life's ambition is to become a train driver. Together, we have downloaded the course required by British Rail, as well as found him an English course that he can attend on a Saturday when he is not working.
Rameez, my weekender, who has more cheek than a wild boar on heat is still the same. We are still arguing Christianity vs Islam - and always arriving at the same conclusion ! Best to agree to disagree ! Well, he has invited me to his parents home for a BBQ ! Firstly, I responded that he was trying to radicalise a cripple, and secondly WHO the f@@ck has a halal BBQ ? Much laughter and bantering, and I have accepted the invitation - samosas and bloodless chicken awaits - will defo let you know.............., and don't stress, not gonna wheel off to Afghanistan on some new venture !!!
So, at long last my British passport arrives in the post. A long awaited little red book that allows you so much freedom to travel !! My fat, Lilly white ass !, been on line and researched the prospects of flying. Short of most airlines aviation rules, and the requirements needed, it seems far to daunting. Batteries have to be a certain spec, meds cleared 48 hrs ahead, service history of chair, full medical history of disability provided, letters from GP etc etc etc - All a major head space to overcome, which I will in due course as well as mastering the art of cripple manipulation ! Beware WORLD, here I come !!! Am busy now with research into the Euroster and visiting Paris for a day / night. Baby steps first. It is really hard to understand how much confidence this injury has sapped out of me !
In finishing up, just prior to my last drug intake, which involves a tiny little pink pill ( I call ' Barbie ' ) which happens to be a sleeping pill ! Recommended for the best 6 hours of total oblivion ever - these past two weeks has seen a few of my friends lose loved ones, a few important milestones of birthdays ( Dan in particular who turned 35 + VAT ), my thoughts, wishes and prayers have been with you all !!!.
Remember the shadow thing, look forward, reach for your goals, coz they sure as hell ain't gonna reach out and grab you, look after your health, tell the ones you love, and mend broken relationships - life is fragile !
With Love
G.
Body odour, sweaty feet and various body appendages feeling temp changes ! Yes..... Who on Gods earth wants to smell their own sweat ??? Yes please...... I DO ! Sweaty feet .....??? Yes please ! And now both ears, right arm, parts of left hand side and both my cheeks can feel the chilly London air !! Small, and I mean SMALL tickles felt in left leg ! All very minor, but ground breaking stuff for me ! All I can ask is that as small an improvement it is, to understand the effect on ones morale in fighting the odds of being banished to a cripples existence by life's unforseen handout.
The Jeeves - Well, what can I say ....... Still trying hard to find the fourth link to complete the chain, but as yet to no avail. Eugene is back with me this week, and all running smoothly - still shitting on the double ups for their minor slip ups of insignificance, however, he runs the place with such style, elegance and a fierce protective value for my wellbeing ! The only fight we have is his unbelievable food concoctions that he insists on putting double cream in ! I am supposedly on diet ! The daily Italian, Andreas, is a gem ! His partial English knowledge and mumbled sentences all taken in the days stride. He is attentive, caring and his life's ambition is to become a train driver. Together, we have downloaded the course required by British Rail, as well as found him an English course that he can attend on a Saturday when he is not working.
Rameez, my weekender, who has more cheek than a wild boar on heat is still the same. We are still arguing Christianity vs Islam - and always arriving at the same conclusion ! Best to agree to disagree ! Well, he has invited me to his parents home for a BBQ ! Firstly, I responded that he was trying to radicalise a cripple, and secondly WHO the f@@ck has a halal BBQ ? Much laughter and bantering, and I have accepted the invitation - samosas and bloodless chicken awaits - will defo let you know.............., and don't stress, not gonna wheel off to Afghanistan on some new venture !!!
So, at long last my British passport arrives in the post. A long awaited little red book that allows you so much freedom to travel !! My fat, Lilly white ass !, been on line and researched the prospects of flying. Short of most airlines aviation rules, and the requirements needed, it seems far to daunting. Batteries have to be a certain spec, meds cleared 48 hrs ahead, service history of chair, full medical history of disability provided, letters from GP etc etc etc - All a major head space to overcome, which I will in due course as well as mastering the art of cripple manipulation ! Beware WORLD, here I come !!! Am busy now with research into the Euroster and visiting Paris for a day / night. Baby steps first. It is really hard to understand how much confidence this injury has sapped out of me !
In finishing up, just prior to my last drug intake, which involves a tiny little pink pill ( I call ' Barbie ' ) which happens to be a sleeping pill ! Recommended for the best 6 hours of total oblivion ever - these past two weeks has seen a few of my friends lose loved ones, a few important milestones of birthdays ( Dan in particular who turned 35 + VAT ), my thoughts, wishes and prayers have been with you all !!!.
Remember the shadow thing, look forward, reach for your goals, coz they sure as hell ain't gonna reach out and grab you, look after your health, tell the ones you love, and mend broken relationships - life is fragile !
With Love
G.
Monday, 16 March 2015
Bonus beginning to the week !!!
As another week passes and small but relevant changes happen to the rebuilding of this body of mine occur, I dread the onset of a Monday moring change over of primary Jeeves's . I have chosen to now use all the Jeeves's names, as, as I see it, if it's the truth, anything may be published ! I just cannot have a repeat performance of last weeks change over. I am ready, and waiting !! Thankfully the two live ins, Eugene and Sky don't cross paths today ! Eugene ( who I have had from the onset ) has to leave by 9:15 in order to get his bus back to Bristol goes off whilst we wait for Sky's arrival. He arrives having missed Eugene by minutes !!! Lucky break for me ! Andreas, the weekday double up busying himself with cleaning, mopping, wiping.......... You name it ! - anything to avoid a confrontation of any sorts ! He is a gentle 6ft + Italian guy who ' mothers ' me and between his broken English and my patients, we get along just fine - he has an amazing sense of humour, good sense of boundaries, and the required respect needed.
Eugene, a Romanian, primary live in is unbelievably good to me. Totally structured, anal about house-keeping, totally respectful with all clinical aspects of daily life, and extremely possessive of my well being ! There is no, and I mean NO deviation from his regime !!! Very good for me and I have the utmost respect for him ! I have approached him to be the full time live in, but at present, and logistically, it cannot be for the moment. Then I have Remeez on a permanent weekend double up. We are worlds apart, unyet share a sick sense humour and a bond formed over the months of breaking all the rules of being in a chair and trying to find my legs again !
The aim of the care company is to get a team that works well together ! Three out of the four are fantastic ! But our fourth team member is not gelling, and accordingly, I am interviewing various people to close our chain. Today, I met with a guy - whose CV was very impressive, and he was very presentable, but he did not shut up for two seconds !!!! Would irritate the shit outa me !! So I finnished off the coffee with " Do you play the piano ? ". His answer was " No "......... I think he got the message !. Will keep you posted as to the closing of the chain !!!!
So this past week went well !, I am feeling good, hair is growing again, muscles responding to excersises, and have decided that it is now time to body beautiful again ! Hair trimmed, stuck to rigid diet, insistent on full body creaming, foot massaging etc etc etc. dressing, albeit cripple style, every morning as if going to work. All working well, and determined not to be seen in trackies and trainers ! Very Eastenders, and far to Chavvy ! So the ' wetsuit ' look is my new style ! Off line buying of tights and oversized tops, combined with colourful bandanas and scarves - stand back Versachii !!! Crayfishing pumps in various colours, meant for protection from rock or coral scraping - don't cause pressure points on feet, semi- rubberised tops, no seams etc etc etc. BUT...... Still I only have one arm and one head ! God, it beats having nothing, and for that I am ever greatful ! Sometimes the smallest or the least is to be more thankful for, rather than the stressful disposition of material wealth ?
Working backwards, this past weekend, overseen by Eugene and Rameez, I get a bee in my beanie that the small but adequate balcony needs spring time sprucing. Rameez and I spend copious amounts of time on the Internet, researching plant nurseries within access of my address ! Wham..........we find one which is accessible, only two train changes, and then a mile wheel to the entrance. We embark on the journey - stocked with carrier bags to bring home the spring cheer !! F&@king place closed down a year ago !!!!
I might have mentioned in a previous blog, but engaged the services of a private, off beat, osteopath / Physio , to take a look at me in the ever hopeful process of not landing up looking like Steven Hawkins ! He examines me, takes all my history, and asks if my consultant from alcatraz knows what I am doing ? I email her, concerned with my posture, spinal relapse etc etc. she calls me up, and is fully supportive of my intentions but is concerned about my spasms ! These are quite difficult to explain, apart from saying that when they occur, the body uncontrollably takes on a foetal position, and you shake like a leper in a jacuzzi bath ! Not pleasant, or controllable !
She immediatly brings my June appointment forward, explaining that I am on the highest quantity of anti-spasm meds as possible. If these are not working, an option is a pump to be inserted into the abdomen, and meds to be self administered directly into the spine as and when the spasms happen. This involves surgery, and a down time unthinkable at the moment ! But will see her as I so value her imput and she has seen me through mop stage to regaining my right hand side function.
I will keep you all posted on the next stage of recovery. As always, treasure your health ! Don't look backwards ! Tell the people that you love ! Remain positive and be thankful for what you have !!!!
Sent with ongoing good health wishes.
G. Xx
Eugene, a Romanian, primary live in is unbelievably good to me. Totally structured, anal about house-keeping, totally respectful with all clinical aspects of daily life, and extremely possessive of my well being ! There is no, and I mean NO deviation from his regime !!! Very good for me and I have the utmost respect for him ! I have approached him to be the full time live in, but at present, and logistically, it cannot be for the moment. Then I have Remeez on a permanent weekend double up. We are worlds apart, unyet share a sick sense humour and a bond formed over the months of breaking all the rules of being in a chair and trying to find my legs again !
The aim of the care company is to get a team that works well together ! Three out of the four are fantastic ! But our fourth team member is not gelling, and accordingly, I am interviewing various people to close our chain. Today, I met with a guy - whose CV was very impressive, and he was very presentable, but he did not shut up for two seconds !!!! Would irritate the shit outa me !! So I finnished off the coffee with " Do you play the piano ? ". His answer was " No "......... I think he got the message !. Will keep you posted as to the closing of the chain !!!!
So this past week went well !, I am feeling good, hair is growing again, muscles responding to excersises, and have decided that it is now time to body beautiful again ! Hair trimmed, stuck to rigid diet, insistent on full body creaming, foot massaging etc etc etc. dressing, albeit cripple style, every morning as if going to work. All working well, and determined not to be seen in trackies and trainers ! Very Eastenders, and far to Chavvy ! So the ' wetsuit ' look is my new style ! Off line buying of tights and oversized tops, combined with colourful bandanas and scarves - stand back Versachii !!! Crayfishing pumps in various colours, meant for protection from rock or coral scraping - don't cause pressure points on feet, semi- rubberised tops, no seams etc etc etc. BUT...... Still I only have one arm and one head ! God, it beats having nothing, and for that I am ever greatful ! Sometimes the smallest or the least is to be more thankful for, rather than the stressful disposition of material wealth ?
Working backwards, this past weekend, overseen by Eugene and Rameez, I get a bee in my beanie that the small but adequate balcony needs spring time sprucing. Rameez and I spend copious amounts of time on the Internet, researching plant nurseries within access of my address ! Wham..........we find one which is accessible, only two train changes, and then a mile wheel to the entrance. We embark on the journey - stocked with carrier bags to bring home the spring cheer !! F&@king place closed down a year ago !!!!
I might have mentioned in a previous blog, but engaged the services of a private, off beat, osteopath / Physio , to take a look at me in the ever hopeful process of not landing up looking like Steven Hawkins ! He examines me, takes all my history, and asks if my consultant from alcatraz knows what I am doing ? I email her, concerned with my posture, spinal relapse etc etc. she calls me up, and is fully supportive of my intentions but is concerned about my spasms ! These are quite difficult to explain, apart from saying that when they occur, the body uncontrollably takes on a foetal position, and you shake like a leper in a jacuzzi bath ! Not pleasant, or controllable !
She immediatly brings my June appointment forward, explaining that I am on the highest quantity of anti-spasm meds as possible. If these are not working, an option is a pump to be inserted into the abdomen, and meds to be self administered directly into the spine as and when the spasms happen. This involves surgery, and a down time unthinkable at the moment ! But will see her as I so value her imput and she has seen me through mop stage to regaining my right hand side function.
I will keep you all posted on the next stage of recovery. As always, treasure your health ! Don't look backwards ! Tell the people that you love ! Remain positive and be thankful for what you have !!!!
Sent with ongoing good health wishes.
G. Xx
Tuesday, 10 March 2015
Back to basics !!!
So my week begins with the Monday morning handover of the primary Jeeves's. Usually an uneventful process of chit chat and swopping notes as to the week gone by, my progress and certain issues that need to be addressed for the following week. I'm talking about skin maintenance, posture correction, bowel care etc etc etc. all daily routines that need attention, and really speaking should pose little if any problems !!
Problem is.....primary Jeeves's hate one another !! Barely civil to each other, and for the past few Monday's, the tension has been growing,...... And I mean growing !!!! So there I sit sipping on a Nescafé, looking out over my beloved railway tracks, gearing myself up to another day of reading Alice in Wonderland to the blank screen of my PC, and WHAM !!......... Both of them screaming and shouting at one another in the kitchen insisting I make a call on who is right / wrong. The issue being that Jeeves 1, coming on duty has noticed a few crumbs under the bed, and therefore the room has not been hoovered, I mean....... Get a grip !! So we sit down to an indaba, both most unhappy, and both threatening to call the agency and resign !
I flip my lid, and for the first time since my injury, I lose total control ! I am shaking with anger and really cannot have a gun put to my head. I blast the both of them for pettiness etc, and in front of them call the agency and ask for replacements ! I can see both of them passing loose stools as they watch in horror as I simply will not take the bait. All settles down as we resolve the crumb issue, a call back to the agency to retract my request ! And we are back on track again. I cannot lose energy on micro- management.
Primary Jeeves 2 is the new kid on the block ! Is a SA guy, pleasent enough, but has not really understood the boundaries. There is a very fine line to be adhered to between carer, patient scenario.
Firstly, as difficult as it is, they are not, and cannot be your friends !! - that only leads to complacency, slip ups and slackness all round. I have sat with him and explained that I am not his bro ( if I wanted to be called bro, I would move to the Bronx ), Kiff, groovy, leaker are no longer part of my vocabulary ( and if they were I would have ABBA blasting out of the stereo ). None of which he has really grasped, and continual late wake up times are unacceptable in dealing with the routines lifestyle that has been dealt me. He is to be replaced !
The second week of alcatraz was amazing ! Program filled with Physio an OT ! Definitely a big change in the bodily functions, and a renewed vigor to find my legs again ! Added extra excersises, FES machines in place and all carers present and tought on how to work them. We move forward, and every day, week, shows a little more improvement. Ever hopeful, and trusting and working on rebuilding this body ! IT WILLHAPPEN !,
Remember to visualise the out come, remain positive, trust and believe !!!
As always, sent with love and ongoing good health wishes. ,,, !!!
G.
Problem is.....primary Jeeves's hate one another !! Barely civil to each other, and for the past few Monday's, the tension has been growing,...... And I mean growing !!!! So there I sit sipping on a Nescafé, looking out over my beloved railway tracks, gearing myself up to another day of reading Alice in Wonderland to the blank screen of my PC, and WHAM !!......... Both of them screaming and shouting at one another in the kitchen insisting I make a call on who is right / wrong. The issue being that Jeeves 1, coming on duty has noticed a few crumbs under the bed, and therefore the room has not been hoovered, I mean....... Get a grip !! So we sit down to an indaba, both most unhappy, and both threatening to call the agency and resign !
I flip my lid, and for the first time since my injury, I lose total control ! I am shaking with anger and really cannot have a gun put to my head. I blast the both of them for pettiness etc, and in front of them call the agency and ask for replacements ! I can see both of them passing loose stools as they watch in horror as I simply will not take the bait. All settles down as we resolve the crumb issue, a call back to the agency to retract my request ! And we are back on track again. I cannot lose energy on micro- management.
Primary Jeeves 2 is the new kid on the block ! Is a SA guy, pleasent enough, but has not really understood the boundaries. There is a very fine line to be adhered to between carer, patient scenario.
Firstly, as difficult as it is, they are not, and cannot be your friends !! - that only leads to complacency, slip ups and slackness all round. I have sat with him and explained that I am not his bro ( if I wanted to be called bro, I would move to the Bronx ), Kiff, groovy, leaker are no longer part of my vocabulary ( and if they were I would have ABBA blasting out of the stereo ). None of which he has really grasped, and continual late wake up times are unacceptable in dealing with the routines lifestyle that has been dealt me. He is to be replaced !
The second week of alcatraz was amazing ! Program filled with Physio an OT ! Definitely a big change in the bodily functions, and a renewed vigor to find my legs again ! Added extra excersises, FES machines in place and all carers present and tought on how to work them. We move forward, and every day, week, shows a little more improvement. Ever hopeful, and trusting and working on rebuilding this body ! IT WILLHAPPEN !,
Remember to visualise the out come, remain positive, trust and believe !!!
As always, sent with love and ongoing good health wishes. ,,, !!!
G.
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