Gentle sounds of pitter pater of heavy feet trying their hardest to muffle the noise of walking. Old familiar odour of egg and bacon on the stove - what nices smells !!! Heavy clanking of dishes, trying to be washed quietly !! My eyes open - looking towards the window, which has become my body clock adviser ! It is light, through dazed eyes it appears to be a sunny day........ Yes, Yes, I have " slept in ". Can I believe it ? I buz for Jeeves, who bounces in, clearly happy that he no longer has to shuffle around to keep noise levels at a minimum !! Gyoou slept gin - he announces with his thick Latvian accent. Time I enquire ? 9:30 ( niign thirsty ) he replies ! His accent grating the hell outa me, but my attitude soon fades as I realise that at long last I have managed to have a long sleep - " Shell vi start da raagime, and start zi dagy " ? " Yes " I reply, curtly, and hating every second of not being able to jump out of bed, shower and get on with it !
The day starts...... Subs in, rolled onto my back and half an hour of excersises begin. Thorough concentration as to working with the mind and the physical movements of the excersises. I find it highly irritating that after three months this particular Jeeves still has to refer to the Physio's notes, and still needs coaching with the movements !! I consol myself with the fact that the care agency has a replacement - A huge chance I am going to take, having taken the reps word for it, unable to meet with the person until the day before they are to start, and it is a woman ! Sometimes, one has to follow ones gut feeling, and this is what I am doing ! Risky, but am believing that it is the right thing to do !.
It has taken a while, but we finally seem to have gotten a good team together. From now on, I will refer to the team by their names. Eugene one of the live in's is good ! Knows his spinal stuff, and is extremely thorough - Rumanian, slightly aloof, can be sulky, but I have the utmost faith in his capabilities. I will not bore you with the second live in, as he is to be replaced as per above.
The permanent double up Mon through Fri, is Andreas, an Italian guy, a little difficult to communicate with, but as thorough as Eugene. He is also as dedicated to my well being as Eugene - perhaps to out spoken, which annoys Eugene, but the two of them actually work well with each other. Given time and the hierarchy that I need to put in place they will be a formidable team.
My permanent double up on the weekend is Rameez. A Muslim guy, who again has dedicated his career to caring. Mon - Fri he works in a caring facility and has been there for a number of years ! In order to pay to further his studies, he works weekends for my care agency. I like him . He loves to break rules, and is always keen to get me out on any exploration that I might have found during the week.
So, as the universe tilts, slowly but surely my support system is falling into place. Hopefully the new live in will work, and then all will be in place.
I have a real busy week ahead - tomorrow my standing frame arrives, Heath and Safty require all carers to be present + care agency supervisor to be signed off. Will then have to do some more work on the Dragon computer program. Wheelchair Services paying a visit to change my wheels, diner with Jen and Tess on Wednesday, bloods on Thursday - thankfully got the doctor to give me the last appointment of the day so that I can at least get some work in !
With every intention of going to the Columbia Road flower market today, I had a call from a friend who said he was going early this morning. I placed my order ! So have my beautiful ' Star-gazers ' in their vases !! Flowers are a MUST !!! Beautiful smells, it is home again !!!
Go well, and love ya all !
G.
Sunday, 30 November 2014
Saturday, 29 November 2014
Reality sets in !
Being the weekend, and as arranged with the live in Jeeves, I was to sleep in ! Only to be woken around 10 ish ! A small pleasure that I am willing to allow myself ! BUT NO, I awake at 6am, bright eyed and bushy tailed, buzz for Jeeves, and my Saturday begins !!! It is just not fair !!! But again, I just have to be governed by my body clock.all dressed and ready by 8, with nowhere to go.
Having conquered almost all the postal and paperwork, I deside to do the last of the lot - BANK STATMENTS !! ......... Oh dear, reality sets in !!! I might have lost a year to my injury, but bottom line now is that I have not worked for a year, which means I have not earned for a year !! Get real Gavin, where is the next crumb coming from, YOU so need to work now ! - which I am doing, but all on my terms, with the understanding of Jo, who is encouraging me to learn the touch screen computer as well as the Dragon program - unbelievabley good, but hectically insane to grasp at first - it will come, and long term I will master it !
Rameez arrives, totally shocked that I am up and ready for the day. We gotta get you out today he insists - I agree - and am still so interested in the wholesale shop not to far from us - now so budget aware, we set off.
Most disappointing , but will definitely go back for theirs meat. For the rest of it, the " Pound " shop would be better !!! God, who would of ever thought that I would have ever thought ??? Pound Shop ??
But, en route to the bus , we discovered all the arches underneath the railway line, had Saturday markets, where they were at liberty to sell to the public. What a find !!! On my doorstep Nogales ! From free range chickens to Olives, coffee's, cheeses, eggs, you name it ! It is there ! Will defo have to take Tom & Del there. Ben my new best friend, sells olives at the Borough Market, but gives away his olive tins in the form of herb planters rather than re-cycle them. I took two, with the intention of planting Rosemary bushes in them for the winter !
Then, I had to make my way home for the SA vs Wales game ! Sadly SA lost, but there will be more !
And now, as I sit holding a large glass of PG, I bid you farewell !
As always sent with love and good wishes, on-going health, and mending bridges where needed. Just remember that life is precious and tomorrow might be too late !
Love ya all ! Just do it - Nike.
G.
Having conquered almost all the postal and paperwork, I deside to do the last of the lot - BANK STATMENTS !! ......... Oh dear, reality sets in !!! I might have lost a year to my injury, but bottom line now is that I have not worked for a year, which means I have not earned for a year !! Get real Gavin, where is the next crumb coming from, YOU so need to work now ! - which I am doing, but all on my terms, with the understanding of Jo, who is encouraging me to learn the touch screen computer as well as the Dragon program - unbelievabley good, but hectically insane to grasp at first - it will come, and long term I will master it !
Rameez arrives, totally shocked that I am up and ready for the day. We gotta get you out today he insists - I agree - and am still so interested in the wholesale shop not to far from us - now so budget aware, we set off.
Most disappointing , but will definitely go back for theirs meat. For the rest of it, the " Pound " shop would be better !!! God, who would of ever thought that I would have ever thought ??? Pound Shop ??
But, en route to the bus , we discovered all the arches underneath the railway line, had Saturday markets, where they were at liberty to sell to the public. What a find !!! On my doorstep Nogales ! From free range chickens to Olives, coffee's, cheeses, eggs, you name it ! It is there ! Will defo have to take Tom & Del there. Ben my new best friend, sells olives at the Borough Market, but gives away his olive tins in the form of herb planters rather than re-cycle them. I took two, with the intention of planting Rosemary bushes in them for the winter !
Then, I had to make my way home for the SA vs Wales game ! Sadly SA lost, but there will be more !
And now, as I sit holding a large glass of PG, I bid you farewell !
As always sent with love and good wishes, on-going health, and mending bridges where needed. Just remember that life is precious and tomorrow might be too late !
Love ya all ! Just do it - Nike.
G.
Thursday, 27 November 2014
Assessment Done & Dusted ! This Mind of mine HAS to rid this body of this 4 x 4 !
So the hospital gives you a number to call in order for you to arrange transport to the spinal clinic. BUT, what they omit to tell you, is that you need to book it a week in advance - I call the night before, only to be told this ! Great ! I plead, and bargain, to no avail - I even pulled the cripple shit, forgetting that they only patients that they transport are in the similar condition as I am !! Rules are rules, and in this case, NOT to be broken.
So, I am on my own - hectic research on taxi's, busses etc, etc. come to the conclusion that I have to take the Jubilee line, ending in Alcatraz area, then take bus 107, then walk/wheel for 10 minutes through he decrepit hospital up to the spinal unit which was home to me for 6 months of this journey of mine !
Amazing how we think we can control our emotions, but in fact we have really no control at all - the sub-conscience is a wicked part of the mind that needs so much delving into !!
As we entered the ' falling down ', maze of corridors, un-inviting buildings, my stomach churned. I had no idea or control over the pit of doom and gloom that started to fester in my gut !! Was this REALLY where I had stayed, and achieved so much ??? Those small baby steps that seemed at the time to be huge leaps of faith ! The pre-fab buildings, circa World War One, the ever depressing corridors that I hussled and bustled around calling' home '...................
Entering the AMU ward, changed my feelings. Luckily enough to be greeted by some of my favourite nurse - Mark-Adam, Kerry, Florie, Emma and too many more to mention. These are people that saw me at my worst, nursed me through some hell-wrenching times..... God, I miss them, and thanks for the amazing response from all of you !!!! I did have the courage to peak into ' Room 2 ' - What looked like a patient half way between death and re- incarnation was in MY bed, room,space for 6 months !! As they pointed out, that ward will never seem the same without me ! U.S. South Africans who say it like it is !!!!
On to the next appointment , was to be in spinal reception - to be greeted by many a nurse, aid worker, sister etc, etc - Have really had my ego stroked today !! First session with the psychologist, the lovely Helen ! A great half hour of talking crap, knowing full well that she was gonna get nothing but positive energy outa me ! The usual questions of the hardships of reintergrating back into society ! We landed up chatting about the poppies at the London Tower - clean slate !!!
Then, the most daunting to me, was my next appointment with my consultant, who, from the onset had said I was an ' unusual ' case. Loads of questions, loads more questions, and she to, informed me that she would only give her opinion once I had seen the Physio's and OT'S report, however, she was very pleased with my attitude and welcomed the fact that I was so keen to get back into mainstream life. Dismissed like a naughty school kid ! - a happy one though ! Bless her - Angela Gall, and she is going to look into the weight gain !
So my major fear, was in fact the least of my concerns ! Physio's and OT'S should have been my worry ! And here I am wheeling my way through the spinal rehab ward en route to physio assessment. Those all so familia smells of urine, trying to be hidden by chemical bleach, looking into the four bedded wards filled with people far worse off than myself ! The ' Day ' room, chockers with patients trying to get a fork to their mouth, nurses cutting up food and feeding their patients, that smell, that smell, that smell !!! Thank you Lord for that experience, coz a year ago - I was in the same place ! Yes, a year along, albeit with a care package, I am re-introducing myself into this big, wide world, with unbelievable challenges ! Having been given those few minutes of what I have just experienced, makes me more determined to get outa this chair and find my legs again !!!
Down the depressing corridor to the gym, and Physio's I go - another uplifting experience to be greeted like you have no idea. Emma, Sue, Nicks............... These were my contacts to the outside world whilst in captivity, and darling Rachel, who is totally against breaking any rules ! I am immediately ushered off to the kitchen to make my own hot chocolate, a standard set by myself when living there.... No OT unless I had a hot chocolate !
My assessment begins, jokes over, serious business ! It is agreed that the Botox to my LHS is wearing off, Emma tweeks the 4 x 4, and Sue gets on with her assessment. It appears as though my nerve endings have grown, far more muscle movement on the LHS, huge improvement to the clawing hand, and, and, and ! They are suitably impressed. Now await orthotics appointment to be organised by aEmma and a re-Botox appointment ! THEY WANT ME BACK !!.........There is all good positive reasons to want to live again ! There has been improvement and that is the best thing I,could hear. So with a renewed will to conquer this journey that has been dealt to me. I am to continue with the community physio work, and continue with the carers daily excersises. Early in the new year, once the orthotics work and Botox done ( some time in December ), and once a bed is available, I will do a two - three week stint there again with intensive therapy to the LHS.
This I promise you my friend " I will walk again ".
Sent with love, high spirits and big thank you's for you ongoing support ! As always, be thankful for what we have, mend broken bridges, and do NOT look behind you at your shadow - move forwards !!!!!
Love you all.....
G.
So, I am on my own - hectic research on taxi's, busses etc, etc. come to the conclusion that I have to take the Jubilee line, ending in Alcatraz area, then take bus 107, then walk/wheel for 10 minutes through he decrepit hospital up to the spinal unit which was home to me for 6 months of this journey of mine !
Amazing how we think we can control our emotions, but in fact we have really no control at all - the sub-conscience is a wicked part of the mind that needs so much delving into !!
As we entered the ' falling down ', maze of corridors, un-inviting buildings, my stomach churned. I had no idea or control over the pit of doom and gloom that started to fester in my gut !! Was this REALLY where I had stayed, and achieved so much ??? Those small baby steps that seemed at the time to be huge leaps of faith ! The pre-fab buildings, circa World War One, the ever depressing corridors that I hussled and bustled around calling' home '...................
Entering the AMU ward, changed my feelings. Luckily enough to be greeted by some of my favourite nurse - Mark-Adam, Kerry, Florie, Emma and too many more to mention. These are people that saw me at my worst, nursed me through some hell-wrenching times..... God, I miss them, and thanks for the amazing response from all of you !!!! I did have the courage to peak into ' Room 2 ' - What looked like a patient half way between death and re- incarnation was in MY bed, room,space for 6 months !! As they pointed out, that ward will never seem the same without me ! U.S. South Africans who say it like it is !!!!
On to the next appointment , was to be in spinal reception - to be greeted by many a nurse, aid worker, sister etc, etc - Have really had my ego stroked today !! First session with the psychologist, the lovely Helen ! A great half hour of talking crap, knowing full well that she was gonna get nothing but positive energy outa me ! The usual questions of the hardships of reintergrating back into society ! We landed up chatting about the poppies at the London Tower - clean slate !!!
Then, the most daunting to me, was my next appointment with my consultant, who, from the onset had said I was an ' unusual ' case. Loads of questions, loads more questions, and she to, informed me that she would only give her opinion once I had seen the Physio's and OT'S report, however, she was very pleased with my attitude and welcomed the fact that I was so keen to get back into mainstream life. Dismissed like a naughty school kid ! - a happy one though ! Bless her - Angela Gall, and she is going to look into the weight gain !
So my major fear, was in fact the least of my concerns ! Physio's and OT'S should have been my worry ! And here I am wheeling my way through the spinal rehab ward en route to physio assessment. Those all so familia smells of urine, trying to be hidden by chemical bleach, looking into the four bedded wards filled with people far worse off than myself ! The ' Day ' room, chockers with patients trying to get a fork to their mouth, nurses cutting up food and feeding their patients, that smell, that smell, that smell !!! Thank you Lord for that experience, coz a year ago - I was in the same place ! Yes, a year along, albeit with a care package, I am re-introducing myself into this big, wide world, with unbelievable challenges ! Having been given those few minutes of what I have just experienced, makes me more determined to get outa this chair and find my legs again !!!
Down the depressing corridor to the gym, and Physio's I go - another uplifting experience to be greeted like you have no idea. Emma, Sue, Nicks............... These were my contacts to the outside world whilst in captivity, and darling Rachel, who is totally against breaking any rules ! I am immediately ushered off to the kitchen to make my own hot chocolate, a standard set by myself when living there.... No OT unless I had a hot chocolate !
My assessment begins, jokes over, serious business ! It is agreed that the Botox to my LHS is wearing off, Emma tweeks the 4 x 4, and Sue gets on with her assessment. It appears as though my nerve endings have grown, far more muscle movement on the LHS, huge improvement to the clawing hand, and, and, and ! They are suitably impressed. Now await orthotics appointment to be organised by aEmma and a re-Botox appointment ! THEY WANT ME BACK !!.........There is all good positive reasons to want to live again ! There has been improvement and that is the best thing I,could hear. So with a renewed will to conquer this journey that has been dealt to me. I am to continue with the community physio work, and continue with the carers daily excersises. Early in the new year, once the orthotics work and Botox done ( some time in December ), and once a bed is available, I will do a two - three week stint there again with intensive therapy to the LHS.
This I promise you my friend " I will walk again ".
Sent with love, high spirits and big thank you's for you ongoing support ! As always, be thankful for what we have, mend broken bridges, and do NOT look behind you at your shadow - move forwards !!!!!
Love you all.....
G.
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Jeeves vs's jeeves's
It's a little like Downton Abbey around here at the mo ! Here I go, delusions of grandeur, but then again, I do have two people in my face 24/7. I know that C, who spent three weeks with me will vouch for me in saying that, I have two people contesting for my full attention day in and day out !
As irritating as it may be, my condition over-rides any delusions of my situation being any other way, and I have to accept that. To re-cap, for those that have just started following my blog, I have two live in carers - alternating on a weekly basis, plus a double up on a daily basis, for 12 hours per day to help the live in's. A care package seldom given, and one I am eternally greatful for !!!!
BUT, there is a hierarchy within the carer circle that until now I was totally un-aware of. Live-in's over rule double up's !!! Big time !!! It is a little like playing Bridge ! Singletons, doubles, Voids, Trumps or No Trumps - options ! Options !, options................
In hindsight, I made the biggest mistake by calling the wrong suit. My wrong suit to call was : " Friendly ", and it has only just manifested itself just prior to my favourite 24/7 change over. I, being myself have been treating all as equal beings, and this morning when the double up arrived and during the an regime I corrected the 24/7 on some small issue........ All hell broke loose !!! Not gonna bore you with the detail, suffice to say that just before handover my favourite 24/7 asked for a private meeting. I knew it was coming as he had had a long face since I had corrected him earlier in the day.
Again, will not bore you with the details, but he chewed my ear off about the above correction, and then pointed out something that C had picked up on, which I never agreed to, but here it came again - from the horses mouth ...... " We are not your friends " we are your carers ! Not to be made friends with, and our job is to serve you in making your life as easy as possible ! - that is what we are paid to do. Then an even bigger clanger...... He asks, do you pay your friends to be your friends ? My mouth drops, but all the pieces suddenly fall into place - these are not my friends, but extra appendages to make my life as normal as possible.
Point taken, no correcting Jeeves 1 in front of double ups, stop treating any of the as mates, and re-take control. Jeeves 1 and I agree that Jeeves 2 ( 24/7 ) needs to go. I need to create a schedule for the double ups to do during the day, and I am to treat all as staff, not colleagues, not mates and deffinitly not friends !!
On reflection, Jeeves 1 is so right. As much as we hate to admit it, or bury our heads in the sand, there will always be a class distinction, or a racial issue, or just a plain hierarchy that is not seen - I for one, did not see this as any kind of issue, but have now learned ! So as of tomorrow, my attitude HAS to change - if the double up is late, report it to the Care company etc etc etc.
With the handover today, I took control again, when asked by Jeeves 2, who was one and a half hours late, what was for diner ? I simply said, my obligation is not to feed you, but to use you to make my life easier....... His face dropped, and off he scurried to the local store to stock up on his own supplies.
It sounds really petty, I know, but in reality Jeeves 1 is so right !
Enough about this small Downton Abbey then ! Am still waiting for my Webber raincoat to arrive, but have braved the shitty London weather without it. Spent a few hours in the office today - STILL trying to Phathom out tha amazing voice recognition program ! Amazing as it is, Jo had to get the top of the range version, which just as you think you are getting the hange of it...... BOOM !!.. It sends a HUGH curved ball !!!! I will conquer it - come hell or high water !!!! It is great to be going into the office - interacting with the ol' tribe, And of course I do get a little extra care ! Have to give Jo credit for his complete understanding as to weening my way back into the system, together with his understanding of doctors appointments, Physio's etc etc - but with all of this, I do try to get into the office by 10. Most of them oblivious to the fact that I am up by 5 in order to make this possible. Jo does, and says nothing. Good man !!!
Thursday, sees my return to Stanmore / Alcatraz, and a rather extensive re-evaluation of the re-building of my body. Somewhat apprehensive, all I can do is go with an open mind and pray that being on the outside has given forth to improvements with the growth of nerve endings ! This, together with signals from the brain enhancing any kind of improvement will be amazing ! As I keep reminding myself, this is a long process, and after one year..... Just to be given a little encouragement would be a blessing. We are only lent to this world, and any hurdles dealt to us need to be accepted, processed and dealt with accordingly ! HARD, but true ! So, guys spare a thought for me on Thursday, as I want outa this 4 x 4 !
In finishing off, and perhaps a tad selfish for not having mentioned this on the onset, please lift up a prayer for J Da Babe, who left this world last week. A non-judgemental, caring mother of a friend of mine. RIP J.
As always, sent with love and on-going good health !! Let's live life like there is no tomorrow, let's dance like everyone is watching, and let's tell the people that mean a lot to us ! Have NO regrets !
G.
As irritating as it may be, my condition over-rides any delusions of my situation being any other way, and I have to accept that. To re-cap, for those that have just started following my blog, I have two live in carers - alternating on a weekly basis, plus a double up on a daily basis, for 12 hours per day to help the live in's. A care package seldom given, and one I am eternally greatful for !!!!
BUT, there is a hierarchy within the carer circle that until now I was totally un-aware of. Live-in's over rule double up's !!! Big time !!! It is a little like playing Bridge ! Singletons, doubles, Voids, Trumps or No Trumps - options ! Options !, options................
In hindsight, I made the biggest mistake by calling the wrong suit. My wrong suit to call was : " Friendly ", and it has only just manifested itself just prior to my favourite 24/7 change over. I, being myself have been treating all as equal beings, and this morning when the double up arrived and during the an regime I corrected the 24/7 on some small issue........ All hell broke loose !!! Not gonna bore you with the detail, suffice to say that just before handover my favourite 24/7 asked for a private meeting. I knew it was coming as he had had a long face since I had corrected him earlier in the day.
Again, will not bore you with the details, but he chewed my ear off about the above correction, and then pointed out something that C had picked up on, which I never agreed to, but here it came again - from the horses mouth ...... " We are not your friends " we are your carers ! Not to be made friends with, and our job is to serve you in making your life as easy as possible ! - that is what we are paid to do. Then an even bigger clanger...... He asks, do you pay your friends to be your friends ? My mouth drops, but all the pieces suddenly fall into place - these are not my friends, but extra appendages to make my life as normal as possible.
Point taken, no correcting Jeeves 1 in front of double ups, stop treating any of the as mates, and re-take control. Jeeves 1 and I agree that Jeeves 2 ( 24/7 ) needs to go. I need to create a schedule for the double ups to do during the day, and I am to treat all as staff, not colleagues, not mates and deffinitly not friends !!
On reflection, Jeeves 1 is so right. As much as we hate to admit it, or bury our heads in the sand, there will always be a class distinction, or a racial issue, or just a plain hierarchy that is not seen - I for one, did not see this as any kind of issue, but have now learned ! So as of tomorrow, my attitude HAS to change - if the double up is late, report it to the Care company etc etc etc.
With the handover today, I took control again, when asked by Jeeves 2, who was one and a half hours late, what was for diner ? I simply said, my obligation is not to feed you, but to use you to make my life easier....... His face dropped, and off he scurried to the local store to stock up on his own supplies.
It sounds really petty, I know, but in reality Jeeves 1 is so right !
Enough about this small Downton Abbey then ! Am still waiting for my Webber raincoat to arrive, but have braved the shitty London weather without it. Spent a few hours in the office today - STILL trying to Phathom out tha amazing voice recognition program ! Amazing as it is, Jo had to get the top of the range version, which just as you think you are getting the hange of it...... BOOM !!.. It sends a HUGH curved ball !!!! I will conquer it - come hell or high water !!!! It is great to be going into the office - interacting with the ol' tribe, And of course I do get a little extra care ! Have to give Jo credit for his complete understanding as to weening my way back into the system, together with his understanding of doctors appointments, Physio's etc etc - but with all of this, I do try to get into the office by 10. Most of them oblivious to the fact that I am up by 5 in order to make this possible. Jo does, and says nothing. Good man !!!
Thursday, sees my return to Stanmore / Alcatraz, and a rather extensive re-evaluation of the re-building of my body. Somewhat apprehensive, all I can do is go with an open mind and pray that being on the outside has given forth to improvements with the growth of nerve endings ! This, together with signals from the brain enhancing any kind of improvement will be amazing ! As I keep reminding myself, this is a long process, and after one year..... Just to be given a little encouragement would be a blessing. We are only lent to this world, and any hurdles dealt to us need to be accepted, processed and dealt with accordingly ! HARD, but true ! So, guys spare a thought for me on Thursday, as I want outa this 4 x 4 !
In finishing off, and perhaps a tad selfish for not having mentioned this on the onset, please lift up a prayer for J Da Babe, who left this world last week. A non-judgemental, caring mother of a friend of mine. RIP J.
As always, sent with love and on-going good health !! Let's live life like there is no tomorrow, let's dance like everyone is watching, and let's tell the people that mean a lot to us ! Have NO regrets !
G.
Sunday, 23 November 2014
When Rain Reigns !!!
Why is it that during the week, we want more sleep, and on weekends we wake up early and feel all bright eyed and bushy tailed ? Never ceases to amaze me - yesterday morning, awake at 5am, and today at 6. It is pointless staring at the ceiling - did too much of that in hospital. So I ring for Jeeves and the morning routine begins ! Still pitch black outside. Up and ready for the day at 7 & 8 respectively, with nowhere to go !!!!
I haves discovered a wholesale warehouse nearby, and it was Jeeves and my intention to go and investigate today. OH so not gonna happen because it is bucketing down ! We had got caught in a downpour earlier in the week, and it ain't pleasant !, Jeeves trying to hold the umbrella over both of us, as well as keeping an eye on my chair etc, etc. both of us got soaked.
So this morning, I look out the balcony door, AND YES, it is bucketing down again. So I have gone onto the cripple web page and bought the most hideous thing in my entire life - a raincoat, sort of like a poncho thing that fits over me and covers the chair as well. I just know that I am going to feel like a Webber braai, that gets covered when not being used.
So...... Yet another feat to transition - RAIN !! I had not given it a thought, but now am so totally aware of how restrictive it can be. Basically I am now house bound for the day. GREAT !!
Friday was spent at the Wheelchair Services, a 9:30 appointment, which from a one hour session, saw me leaving at 3:30 - As expected, new 4 x 4 ready and waiting with all the parts and specs from Stanmore to be fitted and in theory, I should leave feeling comfortable and properly seated. No, no, no, all fitted and tweeked by the staff, who say that all is good - load of Shyte , backrest wrong, arms incorrectly placed, etc etc - I feel terribly seated and my posture is all wonky !! One amazing thing is, I have had snow tyres fitted to the front wheels - what a difference to the bumpy pavements ! There are two disadvantages, one is the risk of a puncture, and the other is that it chews up the rugs on the floors of the flat. Just have to live with it !
So, with larva lamps glowing, rain dropping , I sit on the balcony now able to count the few orange leaves left on the Maples, wondering what to do with the day. So, before one can ponder, one needs a PG !! Jeeves, I beckon and ask for a large glass !
On that note, I bid you all farewell and a brilliant Sunday .
Sent with love, and on-.going good health.
G.
I haves discovered a wholesale warehouse nearby, and it was Jeeves and my intention to go and investigate today. OH so not gonna happen because it is bucketing down ! We had got caught in a downpour earlier in the week, and it ain't pleasant !, Jeeves trying to hold the umbrella over both of us, as well as keeping an eye on my chair etc, etc. both of us got soaked.
So this morning, I look out the balcony door, AND YES, it is bucketing down again. So I have gone onto the cripple web page and bought the most hideous thing in my entire life - a raincoat, sort of like a poncho thing that fits over me and covers the chair as well. I just know that I am going to feel like a Webber braai, that gets covered when not being used.
So...... Yet another feat to transition - RAIN !! I had not given it a thought, but now am so totally aware of how restrictive it can be. Basically I am now house bound for the day. GREAT !!
Friday was spent at the Wheelchair Services, a 9:30 appointment, which from a one hour session, saw me leaving at 3:30 - As expected, new 4 x 4 ready and waiting with all the parts and specs from Stanmore to be fitted and in theory, I should leave feeling comfortable and properly seated. No, no, no, all fitted and tweeked by the staff, who say that all is good - load of Shyte , backrest wrong, arms incorrectly placed, etc etc - I feel terribly seated and my posture is all wonky !! One amazing thing is, I have had snow tyres fitted to the front wheels - what a difference to the bumpy pavements ! There are two disadvantages, one is the risk of a puncture, and the other is that it chews up the rugs on the floors of the flat. Just have to live with it !
So, with larva lamps glowing, rain dropping , I sit on the balcony now able to count the few orange leaves left on the Maples, wondering what to do with the day. So, before one can ponder, one needs a PG !! Jeeves, I beckon and ask for a large glass !
On that note, I bid you all farewell and a brilliant Sunday .
Sent with love, and on-.going good health.
G.
Thursday, 20 November 2014
My Kinda ' Master Chef ' !!!
I have a new name for my 4 x 4 ! For this posting I shall refer to it as the ' Hummer ' - A bulky contraption of a so called 4 x 4, that looks ugly, does not fit into a regular parking space, and the drivers of which tend to think that they have superior rights over any other road users ! - ' Small willy Syndrome ' is how I have always viewed them.. None of the above shall I ever concede to......
However !!!!, en-route home from work this afternoon, and with a renewed sense of zest for life after my doc had given me the good news as posted in my last one, I was contemplating how I can further create independence for myself. COOKING !!! Yes, I loved cooking ! Shyte, where has my mind been ? I have been living on the outside for nearly three months and have not cooked once - relying solely on the Jeeve's ! Puts Meryl Streep to shame in ' Out of Africa ' - A movie I need to download in order to buy on line some of those ' Oh so ' khaki and white linen outfits !!, ordering the servants around, whilst falling hopelesly in love with Africa.............
So, I was to become the Jamie, Heston, or Nigella tonight and whip up a five star meal - HELLO...................... Have you ? Ever tried to chop an onion with one hand ? Peal garlic with one hand ? Pealed a potato with one hand ? .......... I ask no more........... Then I try my hardest to reach the small plate at the back of the stove......... Not gonna happen ! This 4 x 4 has now going to reach Hummer status - just won't fit into the already adapted kitchen ! - I hate it more, which one the one hand ( and I mean literally one hand ! ) gives me more incentive to make the Hummer a more temporary existence than what the doctors predict.
So, good people, how does one then overcome this dilema ?
FIRST, you have Jeeves pour you a large glass of PG, not shaken, not stired, just straight up out of the screw top bottle, that was bought on Tesco's special ! Count to ten, glug one's first gulp, and................... Everything seems to miraculously fall into place.
Here I sit in the Hummer in the middle of the kitchen, giving instructions to Jeeves how to lightly dust the oxtail in flour, prep all the ingredients, brown the meat etc etc etc. Meryl, Jamie, and Heston.....Be very aware ! , chefs do not nessessarily have to do the work ! In fact, I could get quite used to this new found hobby ! Of course the one ingredient sooooooo needed is the PG. The Romanian, Jeeves, is totally aghast that half the hanging herb garden was cut for flavour ! With his dry, but humerous way he refers to the harvest as ' giving the plants a short back and sides '
Anybody up for oxtail ? Just ring - there is enough for an army, and it will slow cook now until tomorrow.
I spent a very pleasant few hours at the office today, most of the people there for a meeting, so the hustle and bustle of people was really great to embrace again. Had quite forgotten just how interaction with other people lifts the soul. Fantastic, humerous, disgusting, enduring bantering between ourselves is quite uplifting ! I have to say, I really only now realised how important those people were / are in my life. And, of course the Hummer cannot get anywhere near the kitchen, so coffee rounds are free for me !
Am off to the wheelchair services tomorrow to have my final chair fitted ! Have been twice since leaving Alcatraz, both times a complete balls up ! Hopefully this time will prove more successful. I am really hoping so, coz next week is my big assesment at Stanmore, and the OT's there can tweek what is needed.
Life is precious, look after it, build bridges coz the rivers may run dry for years but we never know when they might break their banks by over-flowing ! Look after yourselves !!
As always, sent with love and ongoing health.
G.
However !!!!, en-route home from work this afternoon, and with a renewed sense of zest for life after my doc had given me the good news as posted in my last one, I was contemplating how I can further create independence for myself. COOKING !!! Yes, I loved cooking ! Shyte, where has my mind been ? I have been living on the outside for nearly three months and have not cooked once - relying solely on the Jeeve's ! Puts Meryl Streep to shame in ' Out of Africa ' - A movie I need to download in order to buy on line some of those ' Oh so ' khaki and white linen outfits !!, ordering the servants around, whilst falling hopelesly in love with Africa.............
So, I was to become the Jamie, Heston, or Nigella tonight and whip up a five star meal - HELLO...................... Have you ? Ever tried to chop an onion with one hand ? Peal garlic with one hand ? Pealed a potato with one hand ? .......... I ask no more........... Then I try my hardest to reach the small plate at the back of the stove......... Not gonna happen ! This 4 x 4 has now going to reach Hummer status - just won't fit into the already adapted kitchen ! - I hate it more, which one the one hand ( and I mean literally one hand ! ) gives me more incentive to make the Hummer a more temporary existence than what the doctors predict.
So, good people, how does one then overcome this dilema ?
FIRST, you have Jeeves pour you a large glass of PG, not shaken, not stired, just straight up out of the screw top bottle, that was bought on Tesco's special ! Count to ten, glug one's first gulp, and................... Everything seems to miraculously fall into place.
Here I sit in the Hummer in the middle of the kitchen, giving instructions to Jeeves how to lightly dust the oxtail in flour, prep all the ingredients, brown the meat etc etc etc. Meryl, Jamie, and Heston.....Be very aware ! , chefs do not nessessarily have to do the work ! In fact, I could get quite used to this new found hobby ! Of course the one ingredient sooooooo needed is the PG. The Romanian, Jeeves, is totally aghast that half the hanging herb garden was cut for flavour ! With his dry, but humerous way he refers to the harvest as ' giving the plants a short back and sides '
Anybody up for oxtail ? Just ring - there is enough for an army, and it will slow cook now until tomorrow.
I spent a very pleasant few hours at the office today, most of the people there for a meeting, so the hustle and bustle of people was really great to embrace again. Had quite forgotten just how interaction with other people lifts the soul. Fantastic, humerous, disgusting, enduring bantering between ourselves is quite uplifting ! I have to say, I really only now realised how important those people were / are in my life. And, of course the Hummer cannot get anywhere near the kitchen, so coffee rounds are free for me !
Am off to the wheelchair services tomorrow to have my final chair fitted ! Have been twice since leaving Alcatraz, both times a complete balls up ! Hopefully this time will prove more successful. I am really hoping so, coz next week is my big assesment at Stanmore, and the OT's there can tweek what is needed.
Life is precious, look after it, build bridges coz the rivers may run dry for years but we never know when they might break their banks by over-flowing ! Look after yourselves !!
As always, sent with love and ongoing health.
G.
Tuesday, 18 November 2014
Ligaments for the legless
After a painful weekend, and an over active imagination, thoughts of back op, traction etc, etc, I sit with a PG in hand, train spotting and sigh a humongous sigh of relief !! Saw the doctor this afternoon who assured me that I did not have a slipped disc !!! Given my injury, the tendency for the muscles surrounding the spine are to generally weaken. This in turn makes the ligaments a tad more vulnerable. I have torn a few ligaments to the lower spine. Ideally, bed rest more often, and very gentle handling by the carers. Definitlly no pain killers - as this will only confuse the brain signals trying to rectify the initial injury recovery. I take solace with knowing that at least there is pain, I am fortunate enough to be feeling that low down the spine, which has been numb before. As they say - " no pain, no gain " !!!
Perhaps one becomes a little too paranoid about the functions and care needed after SCI, but it is soooo drummed into you during rehab that it can become a major issue in your life. I will never forget the words that Chrissy so often said to me - " don't get bogged down with it all " The best and most informative words I keep reminding myself !
So, my friends, this might be a short posting, but one just to keep you in the loop, a loop called ' the circle of life '
Sent with love and on-going health !!
G.
Perhaps one becomes a little too paranoid about the functions and care needed after SCI, but it is soooo drummed into you during rehab that it can become a major issue in your life. I will never forget the words that Chrissy so often said to me - " don't get bogged down with it all " The best and most informative words I keep reminding myself !
So, my friends, this might be a short posting, but one just to keep you in the loop, a loop called ' the circle of life '
Sent with love and on-going health !!
G.
Monday, 17 November 2014
The Cripple Buddha - have you seen him ?
So, what am I supposed to do ? Give up booze, start smoking pot, and then call myself Hare Krishna?
( no offence to the Krishna gang )!. My last blog was so self centred, self absorbed and sooooo out of sync with what life deals us. For that, I apologise , and in hindsight , regret any negativity that it might have caused you ! This is my life , awaiting any changes that befall me , and I need to embrace them , accept them , and process them. This I do through this blog , in the hopes that if only, and I mean if only one person can gain insight, knowledge , and an understanding of the fact that life is fragile - I would have achieved something !
As long as we believe in a higher being, we are able to conquer anything dealt to us. God always gives His hardest fight to his strongest soldiers ! Buddhist philosophy maintains that every hurdle brings you closer to inner peace, and should be handled in a calm, peaceful manner ! I am at a loss as to most of the eastern beliefs, but did witness , on Sky , a mother and father giving their account of how their son converted to Islam and then was beheaded. The grief and heartache unbelievable !! And here we are sweating the small stuff again ! Make peace with the living, or forever hold regrets !
Lecture over - NIKE - Just do it !!
Ok, so on a more cheerie note, every chicken in the UK is running around with their arse-hole wrapped around their giblets ! Much the same as Paris Hilton and her rug rat ! Yes, yes, yes..........it has been discovered that ' bird flu ' has invaded a certain part of England ! News breaking stuff ! I am gonna make it my mission to eat as much poultry as I can ! Thousands dying from Ebola , in the east at war, etc, etc, BUT......... Huge debates on which chickens can or cannot be eaten ! I say gas the lot of them and make feather boa's out of them. I mean, I would far rather have on my death certificate : Cause of death : ' Mad cow disease ' than, ' Bird Flu ' - far to sexist !! Can you just picture all the hens
sitting in one half of the barn, asking..... " who sneezed ? "
Some feedback as to my last panic attack, spoke with all the relevant doctors today, have an appointment booked for tomorrow late afternoon, and there is no need for concern ! So it will be off to work I go in the morning, to build up the hours and then see the doc in the evening. Trust, and all will be OK.
In finishing up, and I have been meaning to post this, a few weeks ago, ferreting around the underground, looking for lifts to get you to ground level , we find one. What you gotta understand is, that it makes no difference how deep you are - the lift goes from platform level, to exit level - no inbetweens, no aboves, no below's........ An elderly lady squashes herself in prior to doors closing ! Hand trolly et Al, and she precedes to push ground level - she then leans over to me and asks ' you alright luv ? ' I, with a dead pan face answer, ' yes luv, would you please push for the 10th floor '
She stares, and stares, and stares again at the control panel - then answers, ' Sorry luv, you must be in the wrong lift '
Sent with love, and ongoing health.
G
( no offence to the Krishna gang )!. My last blog was so self centred, self absorbed and sooooo out of sync with what life deals us. For that, I apologise , and in hindsight , regret any negativity that it might have caused you ! This is my life , awaiting any changes that befall me , and I need to embrace them , accept them , and process them. This I do through this blog , in the hopes that if only, and I mean if only one person can gain insight, knowledge , and an understanding of the fact that life is fragile - I would have achieved something !
As long as we believe in a higher being, we are able to conquer anything dealt to us. God always gives His hardest fight to his strongest soldiers ! Buddhist philosophy maintains that every hurdle brings you closer to inner peace, and should be handled in a calm, peaceful manner ! I am at a loss as to most of the eastern beliefs, but did witness , on Sky , a mother and father giving their account of how their son converted to Islam and then was beheaded. The grief and heartache unbelievable !! And here we are sweating the small stuff again ! Make peace with the living, or forever hold regrets !
Lecture over - NIKE - Just do it !!
Ok, so on a more cheerie note, every chicken in the UK is running around with their arse-hole wrapped around their giblets ! Much the same as Paris Hilton and her rug rat ! Yes, yes, yes..........it has been discovered that ' bird flu ' has invaded a certain part of England ! News breaking stuff ! I am gonna make it my mission to eat as much poultry as I can ! Thousands dying from Ebola , in the east at war, etc, etc, BUT......... Huge debates on which chickens can or cannot be eaten ! I say gas the lot of them and make feather boa's out of them. I mean, I would far rather have on my death certificate : Cause of death : ' Mad cow disease ' than, ' Bird Flu ' - far to sexist !! Can you just picture all the hens
sitting in one half of the barn, asking..... " who sneezed ? "
Some feedback as to my last panic attack, spoke with all the relevant doctors today, have an appointment booked for tomorrow late afternoon, and there is no need for concern ! So it will be off to work I go in the morning, to build up the hours and then see the doc in the evening. Trust, and all will be OK.
In finishing up, and I have been meaning to post this, a few weeks ago, ferreting around the underground, looking for lifts to get you to ground level , we find one. What you gotta understand is, that it makes no difference how deep you are - the lift goes from platform level, to exit level - no inbetweens, no aboves, no below's........ An elderly lady squashes herself in prior to doors closing ! Hand trolly et Al, and she precedes to push ground level - she then leans over to me and asks ' you alright luv ? ' I, with a dead pan face answer, ' yes luv, would you please push for the 10th floor '
She stares, and stares, and stares again at the control panel - then answers, ' Sorry luv, you must be in the wrong lift '
Sent with love, and ongoing health.
G
Sunday, 16 November 2014
Life can be unfair !
It is amazing how life can deal one a blow when one does not need it ! I have done, as closely as possible, all the things that Alcatraz has taught me ! The nightly turning, pills on time, positioning in bed etc etc etc !
Today I wake up unable to move again ! Unbelievable pain from my lower back. SO confusing, coz I should be extatic that I am able to feel that low of my spine, but unable to comprehend the pain. Gently being moved around by my carers, it appears that one of my lower discs has dislodged !! This will now mean a doctors appointment, to be referred to Stanmore again ! Not what one needs ! I have done so well so far !! Slow, and I mean very slow regime to get me ready for the day !
Being a Sunday, nothing I can do until tomorrow. Once up in the chair, I feel no pain ! It all makes no sence, as in theory my compressed spine should emphasise the pain - I am most comfortable ! I just do not get it - but as I keep affirming, never expect and you can never be disappointed !
Just have to believe that all will be ok !
Love you, and apologies for off-loading ! Posted with love and ongoing health !!
G.
Today I wake up unable to move again ! Unbelievable pain from my lower back. SO confusing, coz I should be extatic that I am able to feel that low of my spine, but unable to comprehend the pain. Gently being moved around by my carers, it appears that one of my lower discs has dislodged !! This will now mean a doctors appointment, to be referred to Stanmore again ! Not what one needs ! I have done so well so far !! Slow, and I mean very slow regime to get me ready for the day !
Being a Sunday, nothing I can do until tomorrow. Once up in the chair, I feel no pain ! It all makes no sence, as in theory my compressed spine should emphasise the pain - I am most comfortable ! I just do not get it - but as I keep affirming, never expect and you can never be disappointed !
Just have to believe that all will be ok !
Love you, and apologies for off-loading ! Posted with love and ongoing health !!
G.
Saturday, 15 November 2014
Just how long does a body need ?
My last posting envolved the starting of work again. Perhaps, I have never comprehended exactly how much of a beating this body of mine has taken ! Day 1, started with the usual morning regime, but for the first time, working against the clock in reality, in order for me to be ready to go by 8am. Mission accomplished - already exhausted, we se off to fight our way through peak hour transport - a nightmare !!! - and now even more exhausted ! - and we still have not even reached the office.
Finally arrive...... Jo & Tobes there to help with the maneuvering advise for the 4 x 4. My desk is now the highest in the office to accommodate my chair. A couple of hours later, cannot concentrate, feel tired and call for Jeeves to collect me. Home, and straight to bed - totally knackered !!! Thursday and Friday exactly the same ! But did push myself each day to build hours and remind the bod that this is what is to happen in order to gain more independence, and normality. I get extremely frustrated with the brain messages not getting through, but as Alcatraz said, time, time, time !
Totally unexpected , whilst C was here and taking him to a few of the contemporary furniture shops, I came across this floating wall desk. Chuffed as chips I bought it. Rameez, with his handyman skills, and his good drilling skills mounted it ! So I will be able to work from home as well as from the office - easiest is gonna be from the latter !!
Go Bokke !!! We won !!! Yeeeeeeehiiiiiiii !
To crown it all and finishing up ! I had a call today from the supplier of a standing machine - applied for via Stanmore Physio's ! - only to be told that it could take up to 12 months to get right ! The call was to inform me that the funding had been approved, and delivery date scheduled for 01 December !
I can only be happy !!!!
Sent with love, and ongoing good health ! Love ya all !
G.
Finally arrive...... Jo & Tobes there to help with the maneuvering advise for the 4 x 4. My desk is now the highest in the office to accommodate my chair. A couple of hours later, cannot concentrate, feel tired and call for Jeeves to collect me. Home, and straight to bed - totally knackered !!! Thursday and Friday exactly the same ! But did push myself each day to build hours and remind the bod that this is what is to happen in order to gain more independence, and normality. I get extremely frustrated with the brain messages not getting through, but as Alcatraz said, time, time, time !
Totally unexpected , whilst C was here and taking him to a few of the contemporary furniture shops, I came across this floating wall desk. Chuffed as chips I bought it. Rameez, with his handyman skills, and his good drilling skills mounted it ! So I will be able to work from home as well as from the office - easiest is gonna be from the latter !!
Go Bokke !!! We won !!! Yeeeeeeehiiiiiiii !
To crown it all and finishing up ! I had a call today from the supplier of a standing machine - applied for via Stanmore Physio's ! - only to be told that it could take up to 12 months to get right ! The call was to inform me that the funding had been approved, and delivery date scheduled for 01 December !
I can only be happy !!!!
Sent with love, and ongoing good health ! Love ya all !
G.
Wednesday, 12 November 2014
Huge hurdle - Work starts ! - Thanks Jo.
All praise and thanks has to go to Jo, former boss, friend and now boss again ! And still friend, he, throughout my stay in Alcatraz always referred to my coming back to Genesis once on the "outside".
Continually referring as to how the office would be adapted to incorporate my 4 x 4, and as to how I could function with one hand and be as effective as before. To begin with, if I have to be honest, I thought it was more of a ploy to encourage me with my rehabilitation and on-going quest to recovery.
So wrong I was !!! , Discovering that on release, the Genesis team had transferred my somewhat bleak abode into a far more homely abode with all the personal touches - lamps, candles, pot plants, flowers etc etc etc - once again guys, THANK YOU !! And, without any pressure, Jo simply said
' Let me know when you are ready to come back to work '
The first month after discharge, was coming to terms with the realization that I had to get used to the Jeeves's 24/7, together with an added double up person every day to help the Jeeve's on duty !! A feat thought to be easy, however, quite grueling to set up routines and regimes in order to maintain as best possible a life as prior to my injury. This took much longer than I had expected, and gladly, after two months we have settled into quite a streamlined regime ! A big thanks too, to C, who spent a couple of weeks here and had all the ' staff ' jumping, and getting small, but relevant things in order ! Thanks C, ...............and I notice that the toaster is being turned upside down over the sink every day :) :).
Sooooooo, having gone the long way around, I found myself being ready for the day by 8am, all dressed up, and nowhere to go ! Sitting in the patio / lounge doorway sipping copious amounts of coffee and having the odd cigg. Yes cigarette !! Making any kind of menial chore to be FAR bigger than it was ! Buried myself in paperwork and shit, but anything to prevent me having to venture out. Again, thanks to C, he was having none of this, and as I mentioned in my last blog, he was inspirational in re-introducing me into everyday life - albeit in a 4 x 4 !!
So, there are a few choices here , stay indoors and become reclusive, grasp the day and hit the streets, or find work again !!! The easiest is to become a recluse !, hitting tha streets does not pay the bills, OR go back to work ?
I have chosen the third option - Thank you Lord !, probably the hardest choice, but I HAVE to beat this chair with my ongoing quest to find my legs again !
One call to Jo, he comes over for a coffee and we chat, arbitrary crap to begin with, then the real stuff about my return to Genesis - he simply says " when do you want to come back " I say Wednesday ! He says " Great ", see you Wednesday ! Suddenly, the realization hits me !!! Oh shit ! What about the paperwork ? What about this and that etc etc - Reality check !! Get back into mainstream Mullen !!.
Paperwork sorted within one day, clothes sorted same day etc etc etc - this I can do, I keep reminding myself ! Work is Wednesday !!
With less than a week, calls from Jo for measurements , heights of 4 x 4, etc etc. I question nothing and allow my universe to tilt as much as it wants to get back into some kind of REAL life. Jeeve's responsibility is to see me to and from the office - I arrive ! I have been moved from my old position to the end of the office, desk tweeted to incorporate my 4 x 4, still needs some more tweeking, done, and here I am sitting back in the office one year up the line !! Toby at the ready for any adjustments, together with his wonderful sense of humour with regards the cripple ! Justin plugging away at his key board, Eileen at her station, full of flu - so I won't allow her near me, Jo trying his best to accommodate me ! Then Connie makes an appearance, hugs, welcomes me back, Marcio ( Spelling ) arrives - his wife has baked a beautiful cake, plus condensed milk cup cakes ! And Umit arrives with flowers ! Jo has given me a touch screen computer together with a voice recognition program - So this tetraplegic can now do what I used to do by just speaking !! Yes - for real !!
So, yet another hurdle conquered - defying the stats of SCI people not wanting to go back to work !
At the end of the day, if one can get back to as normal a life style as before ones injury just do it !
As always, sent with love and on-going health ! I feel real again .... Thanks Jo !
G.
Continually referring as to how the office would be adapted to incorporate my 4 x 4, and as to how I could function with one hand and be as effective as before. To begin with, if I have to be honest, I thought it was more of a ploy to encourage me with my rehabilitation and on-going quest to recovery.
So wrong I was !!! , Discovering that on release, the Genesis team had transferred my somewhat bleak abode into a far more homely abode with all the personal touches - lamps, candles, pot plants, flowers etc etc etc - once again guys, THANK YOU !! And, without any pressure, Jo simply said
' Let me know when you are ready to come back to work '
The first month after discharge, was coming to terms with the realization that I had to get used to the Jeeves's 24/7, together with an added double up person every day to help the Jeeve's on duty !! A feat thought to be easy, however, quite grueling to set up routines and regimes in order to maintain as best possible a life as prior to my injury. This took much longer than I had expected, and gladly, after two months we have settled into quite a streamlined regime ! A big thanks too, to C, who spent a couple of weeks here and had all the ' staff ' jumping, and getting small, but relevant things in order ! Thanks C, ...............and I notice that the toaster is being turned upside down over the sink every day :) :).
Sooooooo, having gone the long way around, I found myself being ready for the day by 8am, all dressed up, and nowhere to go ! Sitting in the patio / lounge doorway sipping copious amounts of coffee and having the odd cigg. Yes cigarette !! Making any kind of menial chore to be FAR bigger than it was ! Buried myself in paperwork and shit, but anything to prevent me having to venture out. Again, thanks to C, he was having none of this, and as I mentioned in my last blog, he was inspirational in re-introducing me into everyday life - albeit in a 4 x 4 !!
So, there are a few choices here , stay indoors and become reclusive, grasp the day and hit the streets, or find work again !!! The easiest is to become a recluse !, hitting tha streets does not pay the bills, OR go back to work ?
I have chosen the third option - Thank you Lord !, probably the hardest choice, but I HAVE to beat this chair with my ongoing quest to find my legs again !
One call to Jo, he comes over for a coffee and we chat, arbitrary crap to begin with, then the real stuff about my return to Genesis - he simply says " when do you want to come back " I say Wednesday ! He says " Great ", see you Wednesday ! Suddenly, the realization hits me !!! Oh shit ! What about the paperwork ? What about this and that etc etc - Reality check !! Get back into mainstream Mullen !!.
Paperwork sorted within one day, clothes sorted same day etc etc etc - this I can do, I keep reminding myself ! Work is Wednesday !!
With less than a week, calls from Jo for measurements , heights of 4 x 4, etc etc. I question nothing and allow my universe to tilt as much as it wants to get back into some kind of REAL life. Jeeve's responsibility is to see me to and from the office - I arrive ! I have been moved from my old position to the end of the office, desk tweeted to incorporate my 4 x 4, still needs some more tweeking, done, and here I am sitting back in the office one year up the line !! Toby at the ready for any adjustments, together with his wonderful sense of humour with regards the cripple ! Justin plugging away at his key board, Eileen at her station, full of flu - so I won't allow her near me, Jo trying his best to accommodate me ! Then Connie makes an appearance, hugs, welcomes me back, Marcio ( Spelling ) arrives - his wife has baked a beautiful cake, plus condensed milk cup cakes ! And Umit arrives with flowers ! Jo has given me a touch screen computer together with a voice recognition program - So this tetraplegic can now do what I used to do by just speaking !! Yes - for real !!
So, yet another hurdle conquered - defying the stats of SCI people not wanting to go back to work !
At the end of the day, if one can get back to as normal a life style as before ones injury just do it !
As always, sent with love and on-going health ! I feel real again .... Thanks Jo !
G.
Monday, 10 November 2014
Year two begins !........
As I sit looking at my amazing hanging garden of herbs and Cyclamins, gathering energy from the colour and the fact that we are able to cook with fresh herbs, sipping on a well brood cuppa coffee, makes me wonder just how lucky I am !! Yes, the Maples that block out the view of the rail track are fast dropping their leaves, and daily the track seems to get closer and the train noise seems louder ! It gives a new perspective on the movie " Train Spotting " - a movie that if I remember back, I think Ewan Mc Greggor starred in. Rather than take the heroine route, I take solace for having watched these trees change in colour from their emerald greens through their lovely oranges and browns as they to prepare for the winter that has come around too soon !
Even the warehouses, so neatly placed under the arches of the train track seem to loom closer and closer - again, rather than complain, I am looking at it and thinking how lucky I am to be surrounded by life on the outside - there is life to be embraced out there rather than become reclusive !!. I can proudly say that I no longer have that fear of the intimidation originally felt on leaving Stanmoe.
A big thanks to Cyril, who had no "fear" of challenging any route through the streets of London. His patience far out weighed mine, and from that I learned how to simply laugh at the small hurdles that can actually become major issues to a chair user - Again, breaking all the rules so inherently drummed into us at Alcatraz. Thanks C. For the laughs, pain-staking routes of the underground, to the reorganising of restuarants seating arrangements in order to accomadate my 4 x 4 !
One huge realisation came in the form of being the Center of abuse from a drag queen show at the infamous Molly Moggs ! The people were not laughing at me, but rather laughing with me. An attitude once adopted, eases the self consciousness and rather boosts one confidence. I now no longer apologise for people having to move on trains and busses etc etc, but rather believe in my mind that I have just as much right as them - it's just that I take a little more space !
We had booked a lunch venue at one of Jamie Oliver's restuarants in Piccadilly - none of us enquiring as to accessibility !!! Something that should now become as a matter of course for myself. Bang !, we arrive and.............Five steps up !!. Initially note to self was to castigate JO, but the helpful staff re-directed us a mere 100 meters around the corner to Jamie Oliver's Italian - no steps, lift to the first floor, unbelievable staff and an amazing lunch - a must do !
I cannot praise the " Next " stores on Oxford Street - jam packed with merchandise and absolutely no consideration for chair users. Rather indignant staff to boot ! I will never support them again and I encourage people in the same condition to do the same.
My local pub is called " The Gregorian ". A Tudor styled building, quite inviting, but bloody depressing on the inside ! Typical English pub, probably has not been decorated since it opened, but has a ramp and the most obliging people to help with opening and holding doors open for me to get in. I might be being a little harsh on the place, but the beer is always cold, and the wine is NOT out of a box !
Separating my block and The Greg, is The St James church. Sunday's are supposed to be sleep in days ! OH NO..........the bells start at 7 and stop at around 12 !!!!. So the choices I have are - Trains, Warehousing , or Bells ! Gotta be thankful for any choices - that's London living !
So as I ease into my second year of recovery, I have loads to be thankful for :
I have my head - no grey matter affected ! So I can communicat.
I have my eyes - so I can see - visualise.
My speech is perfect - again I can communicate
I have feeling on my right hand side ! - and my right hand is functioning - therefore I can type.
My right leg is semi- functional - trying hard for the left leg to accept signals from the brain !
And there is a glimmer of hope for my left arm ! - some hope is better than no hope !
In going forward with this renewed enthusiasm to find my legs again, I urge you all to take a minute or two to appreciate what life has given us. Mend bridges keep moving forward - don't let the shadows overtake you.
As always, posted with love, and on-going health !!!
G
Even the warehouses, so neatly placed under the arches of the train track seem to loom closer and closer - again, rather than complain, I am looking at it and thinking how lucky I am to be surrounded by life on the outside - there is life to be embraced out there rather than become reclusive !!. I can proudly say that I no longer have that fear of the intimidation originally felt on leaving Stanmoe.
A big thanks to Cyril, who had no "fear" of challenging any route through the streets of London. His patience far out weighed mine, and from that I learned how to simply laugh at the small hurdles that can actually become major issues to a chair user - Again, breaking all the rules so inherently drummed into us at Alcatraz. Thanks C. For the laughs, pain-staking routes of the underground, to the reorganising of restuarants seating arrangements in order to accomadate my 4 x 4 !
One huge realisation came in the form of being the Center of abuse from a drag queen show at the infamous Molly Moggs ! The people were not laughing at me, but rather laughing with me. An attitude once adopted, eases the self consciousness and rather boosts one confidence. I now no longer apologise for people having to move on trains and busses etc etc, but rather believe in my mind that I have just as much right as them - it's just that I take a little more space !
We had booked a lunch venue at one of Jamie Oliver's restuarants in Piccadilly - none of us enquiring as to accessibility !!! Something that should now become as a matter of course for myself. Bang !, we arrive and.............Five steps up !!. Initially note to self was to castigate JO, but the helpful staff re-directed us a mere 100 meters around the corner to Jamie Oliver's Italian - no steps, lift to the first floor, unbelievable staff and an amazing lunch - a must do !
I cannot praise the " Next " stores on Oxford Street - jam packed with merchandise and absolutely no consideration for chair users. Rather indignant staff to boot ! I will never support them again and I encourage people in the same condition to do the same.
My local pub is called " The Gregorian ". A Tudor styled building, quite inviting, but bloody depressing on the inside ! Typical English pub, probably has not been decorated since it opened, but has a ramp and the most obliging people to help with opening and holding doors open for me to get in. I might be being a little harsh on the place, but the beer is always cold, and the wine is NOT out of a box !
Separating my block and The Greg, is The St James church. Sunday's are supposed to be sleep in days ! OH NO..........the bells start at 7 and stop at around 12 !!!!. So the choices I have are - Trains, Warehousing , or Bells ! Gotta be thankful for any choices - that's London living !
So as I ease into my second year of recovery, I have loads to be thankful for :
I have my head - no grey matter affected ! So I can communicat.
I have my eyes - so I can see - visualise.
My speech is perfect - again I can communicate
I have feeling on my right hand side ! - and my right hand is functioning - therefore I can type.
My right leg is semi- functional - trying hard for the left leg to accept signals from the brain !
And there is a glimmer of hope for my left arm ! - some hope is better than no hope !
In going forward with this renewed enthusiasm to find my legs again, I urge you all to take a minute or two to appreciate what life has given us. Mend bridges keep moving forward - don't let the shadows overtake you.
As always, posted with love, and on-going health !!!
G
Thursday, 6 November 2014
My first year anniversary
Today, one year ago, doctors gave me 72 hours to live ! - 72 hours on, and having mobilised my family to gather around the bed in anticipation of my demise ........... I kept on breathing !! Although I am still certain that I " died " during that initial 72 hour window period, here I am lying in an induced coma - very vague memories of familiar voices around me, and not quite grasping where ? when ? why ? .............. But loving the DRUGS being administered to hold me in a state of complete limbo !
Next thing I know, is possibly a reversal drug administered to bring me out of the induced coma ! SHIT !!! I have " made " it !! Again, vague recollection of familiar voices, vague recollection of nurses, doctors and nurse aides hovering around pulling and pushing pipes, tubes, and IV drugs, and then a doctors voice telling me that I had had a SCI - was paralysed from the head down - prognosis.....we just have to wait and see................ Then to be told by the consultant that a blood thining agent had been wrongly administered and that had caused the paralysis. Oh great !!!!
So here I lie ( a complete mop ), head movement only, trachea in place, and assistant breathing apparatus. Let me die, let me die, let me die......... Is all I can think ! Coupled with th NON-Reasurrance from the medical staff of any form of recovery !!! Nobody can explain the frustration of wanting your eye-brow scratched when you are unable to communicate !! Unless you have been in this position !
ONE year later..........I sit in my own apartment, yes, in a wheelchair ! , but with a functional right hand side, and working on the left hand side via intensive physio etc etc. Unbelievable carers and starting work next week. Life deals us various hurdles that need to be challenged !, Argued !, and either grasped and accepted or on the contrary left to allow all the negativity in , and not to be faced !
I chose to face my hurdle, and beat it head on .......... A choice often willing to revert to the first instance..... It is the easier of the two evils ! But NO, people, no hurdle is insurmountable ! No problem in life is too big to resolve - we have friends, acquaintances, social media etc etc to reach out to for help ! Trust me, it works !!
I have rehabilitated to half a mop ! I love the analogy of the mop - said and meant in jest as well as in reality. Half a body is better than no body ! Stop sweating the small stuff, and concentrate on all factors in your life that are positive - It works.
In closing, and after one year, I am thankful for the slow but persistent changes in my body, I am thankful for the partial re-functioning of my right hand side, I am thankful for the energy that I have for the , hopeful regaining of my left hand side of the body. No matter what beliefs you have, trust in your higher powers !
Always remember, one NEVER knows what lies around the corner !
Love yourself, love others - and tell them that. Repair damaged relations, look after yourself, and never forget that we all fall into the " Why not me ? " category.
As always, sent with love, and good onward energy ! Not at all meant as a lecture - move forward and the shadows will never overtake !
Love
G
XXX
Next thing I know, is possibly a reversal drug administered to bring me out of the induced coma ! SHIT !!! I have " made " it !! Again, vague recollection of familiar voices, vague recollection of nurses, doctors and nurse aides hovering around pulling and pushing pipes, tubes, and IV drugs, and then a doctors voice telling me that I had had a SCI - was paralysed from the head down - prognosis.....we just have to wait and see................ Then to be told by the consultant that a blood thining agent had been wrongly administered and that had caused the paralysis. Oh great !!!!
So here I lie ( a complete mop ), head movement only, trachea in place, and assistant breathing apparatus. Let me die, let me die, let me die......... Is all I can think ! Coupled with th NON-Reasurrance from the medical staff of any form of recovery !!! Nobody can explain the frustration of wanting your eye-brow scratched when you are unable to communicate !! Unless you have been in this position !
ONE year later..........I sit in my own apartment, yes, in a wheelchair ! , but with a functional right hand side, and working on the left hand side via intensive physio etc etc. Unbelievable carers and starting work next week. Life deals us various hurdles that need to be challenged !, Argued !, and either grasped and accepted or on the contrary left to allow all the negativity in , and not to be faced !
I chose to face my hurdle, and beat it head on .......... A choice often willing to revert to the first instance..... It is the easier of the two evils ! But NO, people, no hurdle is insurmountable ! No problem in life is too big to resolve - we have friends, acquaintances, social media etc etc to reach out to for help ! Trust me, it works !!
I have rehabilitated to half a mop ! I love the analogy of the mop - said and meant in jest as well as in reality. Half a body is better than no body ! Stop sweating the small stuff, and concentrate on all factors in your life that are positive - It works.
In closing, and after one year, I am thankful for the slow but persistent changes in my body, I am thankful for the partial re-functioning of my right hand side, I am thankful for the energy that I have for the , hopeful regaining of my left hand side of the body. No matter what beliefs you have, trust in your higher powers !
Always remember, one NEVER knows what lies around the corner !
Love yourself, love others - and tell them that. Repair damaged relations, look after yourself, and never forget that we all fall into the " Why not me ? " category.
As always, sent with love, and good onward energy ! Not at all meant as a lecture - move forward and the shadows will never overtake !
Love
G
XXX
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