Wednesday, 8 June 2016
Finding my LEGS again: Coffins, Caskettes, or Cardboard boxes..... ???
Finding my LEGS again: Coffins, Caskettes, or Cardboard boxes..... ???: So my journey continues........ And, with the journey comes realities that people really don't like to face ! Mine, on the other hand ha...
Coffins, Caskettes, or Cardboard boxes..... ???
So my journey continues........ And, with the journey comes realities that people really don't like to face ! Mine, on the other hand has been one of acceptance, trying to make it work, reaching out to people in the same position, and most of all.... Getting people to realise that there can be life after SCI !!! Sadly, I have to admit that the various organisations employing people to portray the positiveness of life changing circumstances are bound by the " ticking of the boxes " syndrome ! It's been interesting receiving the re-buffs of " too newly injured, too out spoken, not the norm !! " etc etc....... But then,..... Perhaps I never did fit into any box, and in hindsight, no box was ever made for me !! This I find hard to believe, and will, against all odds find a charity to support my cause - I remember only too well the five months on my back in Royal London where nobody offered any support or answers !! Or just shear encouragement !! A statistic waiting to happen, waiting for any form of progress, a stat to notch up another medical feat for a journal paper,..... With total realisation, that in actual fact, " they " don't really know !! Is it not fair to just be honest and say so ??? But, with a little encouragement from a fellow injured person, could go a long way in the realisation and coping mechanism of experiencing this life changing experience ??. Just tell it as it is !!
Having had my last few assessments, and been given the factual evidence that I have a 40% chance of a relapse - diminishing every year by about 2% - I can count myself as lucky. 6 months of stabilising, 2 weeks in the brain injury facility whilst awaiting my bed at Alcatraz , and then 7 months in Alcatraz ! Being released back into society as a newly recruited disabled person, I decided to get all my affairs in order ! Macabre, but a reality that I never considered before ! Do you have a will ??? If so, when was it last updated ? Life insurance ? Do you have it ?? Is it worth it ?? Etc etc etc. so with a " balls to the walls " approach, I sat for a morning making a list of what responsible people SHOULD do !! Dealing with death !! Please, Please, don't think it's macabre - it's a reality and something guaranteed all of us. First comes birth, and from that moment onwards we are all guaranteed the final outcome of life's ending - be it long lived or short lived ! Whichever way one looks at it, it's a finite equation of being. Some scared, some not thinking about it, some not interested, and some welcoming thereof !! I am totally at peace with it, and frankly, welcome it.
So, trying to be mature, and responsible about my situation ,and thinking ahead, I decide to wheel down to the local funeral parlour to chat about the " what if's " scenario. Have I got an appointment I'm asked as I enter. " no", I answer, but I'm merely here to put a policy into place, should the end happen !!!
I'm upbeat, cheerful, and happy to be discussing what would happen to me should the inevitable happen sooner rather than later ! Well....... " Death on two legs " A tall skinny, large nosed, morbid, creepy man comes out from behind the velvet curtains to help me with my enquiry, whilst Low key piano music is piped into the reception area ! Not at all cheerful, no smiley faces and all so ever serious !! Oh fak ! I think to myself...... But I'm here now, so let's do it !!! Let's find out how it all works,........ And the conversation goes as follows.......
" Good morning "
" Hi "
" I'm so sorry to hear of your loss "
" What loss? "
" Well you must have suffered a loss to be here, looking for assistance with a funeral arrangement ? "
" No, I'm here to Discuss my own death and perhaps getting some policy into place.
Silence, nose pulled higher, skin tone slightly greyer, and piped music seems louder !!!
" I'm looking ahead, and considering a policy that will take care of me should I pass "
" Oh "
" Oh, and another OH " !!!!!!!!
" well, you've come to the right place then "
" I would have thought so, coz you are the only shop with Caskettes and tomb stones in the window display "
Pursed lips, greyer in skin tone, and I can almost hear his kneecaps knocking together in antissipation of selling me a " good deal " ...... A collect, dress up, state of the art box, burning or burying proces etc etc etc.... Those beady little eyes staring straight through me as if I was dead already !!!
" Well then, Dr Grim says " " let's start with the top of the range arrangements " Hurse, coffin, cars to transport family, church, flowers, snacks and catering for afterwards, printing of eulogy for the service, more counselling for the bereaved , trip home for the dearly beloved left behind, etc etc etc...... Viewing of the coffins, handles, and all the shit that goes with it ! Silk or rayon linings, embalming, open or closed box, ........ All the while the music playing sombre tunes to get ones emotions into overdrive.
" I don't think you get me "
" I'm looking for a no-frills, pine box, toss me in and burn me kinda deal "
" you must have more respect for the hereafter " I'm told !! And what about a marble plaque for the wall of rememberence etc etc.
"Oh forget that " at another £500 who the hell is gonna come and look at a slab of marble on a wall ??? All I'm looking for is collection, burning and collection of some dust to be scattered ! Preferably over lake Como in Italy !! No frills, no fuss, no grandiose boxes etc..... Dr Grim, is losin patience with me - I'm happy to settle for a simple pine box, rope handles, maybe not even a church service, or if so, can't I get my carers to use my own vehicle to get me to the church ?"
A very stern " No !!! " - it's against the law !!! and then a long winded lecture on costs from £6000 - £15 000, dependent on life expectancy , based on inflation etc etc etc - and to get the basics, at imminent death rate, the policy works out at an exorbitant monthly cost !!! At that rate, I tell Dr Grim " that I would need to die very quickly in order to keep up the payments. And, I throw in - does the policy cover " suicide " then ?.......... I even had the cheek to ask him if there was any disabled discount !!!! Another long, long silence , grimmer glare, frustration written all over his face.......... Adding fuel to the fire, I push on - and ask him about a paupers funeral as an option. Well, he says, that's not something his company can do. My body would have to be collected by the state, taken to a state morgue, not claimed for a certain length of time, and then burnt along side a collection of other " no claims " !!!!! Basically a " Jane Doe " situation. Well then, I say, that's gonna be my option !! Literally before I can thank him for his time, he stands up an kinda ushers me out of the parlour clearly realising that he ain't gonna get me as a client !!. Had to smile to myself, because in my life, I have been kicked out of bars, clubs, and various other venues, but NEVER a funeral parlour ..........
Back out on the pavement feeling somewhat Disallusioned at the fact that death is not only a costly affair, it's something governed by laws that kinda put you between a rock and a hard stone ! It's ironic the process really - they collect you warm, then they chill you in the fridge, then they heat you up to temps of 1000 degrees, scrape and crush the left overs, decant into a box and that's it !!. So I'm onto plan B. And I know with some help from my friend Lise', and a little research on the net we'll come up with a " do it yourself " plan, saving money, time and the hassle left behind for the family ! - will keep you posted !.
Home life is finally settled and great. The awesome foursome in full swing. Mischki and Martini, the live in's alternating perfectly between shifts, coordinating their flights between Czech republic and the U.K. Then darling Diaana-Bella here Mon - Fri, and Meezie here on the weekends. An amazing atmosphere, with no issues, friendly banter and professional attitude and respect with clinical care. Diana has me on a diet, but allows me " cheat treats " most of the time, and is a qualified OT.
Looking at all avenues to rejuvenate progress with my body and the yearning to conquer my situation, coupled with the fact that I am not experiencing muscle degeneration, something Alcatraz cannot explain ! I have done lots of research on maintaining muscle form. It's recommended that deep tissue massage can activate or stimulate nerve ending growth and activity. WHAT a trip it's been !!! I've been onto various forums and asked for recommendations etc etc, most of which required travel, transfer from chair to table......... Having to overcome stairs......... Not gonna work given my situation.
So I go on line looking for a masseuse willing to do house calls. Oh there are plenty...... And I mean plenty !!!! Starting with " Blond chick with huge jugs for memorable massage " to " Huge stallion for deep encounter " etc etc, the list goes on and on ........ Then, via one of the forums, I received an email from a massage therapist by the name of Jon. Completely confident with SCI people, qualified in various techniques of massage, and willing to do home calls. BUT, you have to be seen by him prior to any therapy, or unless you are a recommendation. First we had a telephone conversation , then a meeting at home to set up a therapy program for what suits one as an individual. Thoroughly professional , and with his permission will post his website for anyone in the London area looking to de-stress via massage. It is : www.londonhomemassage.uk. Highly recommended !!!
Well my friends, that's the news for the moment. The shadows need to be behind you in order to move forward !! Let go of the small stuff and be greatful for the ups and downs ! As always, written with love and ongoing good wishes !!
G.
Having had my last few assessments, and been given the factual evidence that I have a 40% chance of a relapse - diminishing every year by about 2% - I can count myself as lucky. 6 months of stabilising, 2 weeks in the brain injury facility whilst awaiting my bed at Alcatraz , and then 7 months in Alcatraz ! Being released back into society as a newly recruited disabled person, I decided to get all my affairs in order ! Macabre, but a reality that I never considered before ! Do you have a will ??? If so, when was it last updated ? Life insurance ? Do you have it ?? Is it worth it ?? Etc etc etc. so with a " balls to the walls " approach, I sat for a morning making a list of what responsible people SHOULD do !! Dealing with death !! Please, Please, don't think it's macabre - it's a reality and something guaranteed all of us. First comes birth, and from that moment onwards we are all guaranteed the final outcome of life's ending - be it long lived or short lived ! Whichever way one looks at it, it's a finite equation of being. Some scared, some not thinking about it, some not interested, and some welcoming thereof !! I am totally at peace with it, and frankly, welcome it.
So, trying to be mature, and responsible about my situation ,and thinking ahead, I decide to wheel down to the local funeral parlour to chat about the " what if's " scenario. Have I got an appointment I'm asked as I enter. " no", I answer, but I'm merely here to put a policy into place, should the end happen !!!
I'm upbeat, cheerful, and happy to be discussing what would happen to me should the inevitable happen sooner rather than later ! Well....... " Death on two legs " A tall skinny, large nosed, morbid, creepy man comes out from behind the velvet curtains to help me with my enquiry, whilst Low key piano music is piped into the reception area ! Not at all cheerful, no smiley faces and all so ever serious !! Oh fak ! I think to myself...... But I'm here now, so let's do it !!! Let's find out how it all works,........ And the conversation goes as follows.......
" Good morning "
" Hi "
" I'm so sorry to hear of your loss "
" What loss? "
" Well you must have suffered a loss to be here, looking for assistance with a funeral arrangement ? "
" No, I'm here to Discuss my own death and perhaps getting some policy into place.
Silence, nose pulled higher, skin tone slightly greyer, and piped music seems louder !!!
" I'm looking ahead, and considering a policy that will take care of me should I pass "
" Oh "
" Oh, and another OH " !!!!!!!!
" well, you've come to the right place then "
" I would have thought so, coz you are the only shop with Caskettes and tomb stones in the window display "
Pursed lips, greyer in skin tone, and I can almost hear his kneecaps knocking together in antissipation of selling me a " good deal " ...... A collect, dress up, state of the art box, burning or burying proces etc etc etc.... Those beady little eyes staring straight through me as if I was dead already !!!
" Well then, Dr Grim says " " let's start with the top of the range arrangements " Hurse, coffin, cars to transport family, church, flowers, snacks and catering for afterwards, printing of eulogy for the service, more counselling for the bereaved , trip home for the dearly beloved left behind, etc etc etc...... Viewing of the coffins, handles, and all the shit that goes with it ! Silk or rayon linings, embalming, open or closed box, ........ All the while the music playing sombre tunes to get ones emotions into overdrive.
" I don't think you get me "
" I'm looking for a no-frills, pine box, toss me in and burn me kinda deal "
" you must have more respect for the hereafter " I'm told !! And what about a marble plaque for the wall of rememberence etc etc.
"Oh forget that " at another £500 who the hell is gonna come and look at a slab of marble on a wall ??? All I'm looking for is collection, burning and collection of some dust to be scattered ! Preferably over lake Como in Italy !! No frills, no fuss, no grandiose boxes etc..... Dr Grim, is losin patience with me - I'm happy to settle for a simple pine box, rope handles, maybe not even a church service, or if so, can't I get my carers to use my own vehicle to get me to the church ?"
A very stern " No !!! " - it's against the law !!! and then a long winded lecture on costs from £6000 - £15 000, dependent on life expectancy , based on inflation etc etc etc - and to get the basics, at imminent death rate, the policy works out at an exorbitant monthly cost !!! At that rate, I tell Dr Grim " that I would need to die very quickly in order to keep up the payments. And, I throw in - does the policy cover " suicide " then ?.......... I even had the cheek to ask him if there was any disabled discount !!!! Another long, long silence , grimmer glare, frustration written all over his face.......... Adding fuel to the fire, I push on - and ask him about a paupers funeral as an option. Well, he says, that's not something his company can do. My body would have to be collected by the state, taken to a state morgue, not claimed for a certain length of time, and then burnt along side a collection of other " no claims " !!!!! Basically a " Jane Doe " situation. Well then, I say, that's gonna be my option !! Literally before I can thank him for his time, he stands up an kinda ushers me out of the parlour clearly realising that he ain't gonna get me as a client !!. Had to smile to myself, because in my life, I have been kicked out of bars, clubs, and various other venues, but NEVER a funeral parlour ..........
Back out on the pavement feeling somewhat Disallusioned at the fact that death is not only a costly affair, it's something governed by laws that kinda put you between a rock and a hard stone ! It's ironic the process really - they collect you warm, then they chill you in the fridge, then they heat you up to temps of 1000 degrees, scrape and crush the left overs, decant into a box and that's it !!. So I'm onto plan B. And I know with some help from my friend Lise', and a little research on the net we'll come up with a " do it yourself " plan, saving money, time and the hassle left behind for the family ! - will keep you posted !.
Home life is finally settled and great. The awesome foursome in full swing. Mischki and Martini, the live in's alternating perfectly between shifts, coordinating their flights between Czech republic and the U.K. Then darling Diaana-Bella here Mon - Fri, and Meezie here on the weekends. An amazing atmosphere, with no issues, friendly banter and professional attitude and respect with clinical care. Diana has me on a diet, but allows me " cheat treats " most of the time, and is a qualified OT.
Looking at all avenues to rejuvenate progress with my body and the yearning to conquer my situation, coupled with the fact that I am not experiencing muscle degeneration, something Alcatraz cannot explain ! I have done lots of research on maintaining muscle form. It's recommended that deep tissue massage can activate or stimulate nerve ending growth and activity. WHAT a trip it's been !!! I've been onto various forums and asked for recommendations etc etc, most of which required travel, transfer from chair to table......... Having to overcome stairs......... Not gonna work given my situation.
So I go on line looking for a masseuse willing to do house calls. Oh there are plenty...... And I mean plenty !!!! Starting with " Blond chick with huge jugs for memorable massage " to " Huge stallion for deep encounter " etc etc, the list goes on and on ........ Then, via one of the forums, I received an email from a massage therapist by the name of Jon. Completely confident with SCI people, qualified in various techniques of massage, and willing to do home calls. BUT, you have to be seen by him prior to any therapy, or unless you are a recommendation. First we had a telephone conversation , then a meeting at home to set up a therapy program for what suits one as an individual. Thoroughly professional , and with his permission will post his website for anyone in the London area looking to de-stress via massage. It is : www.londonhomemassage.uk. Highly recommended !!!
Well my friends, that's the news for the moment. The shadows need to be behind you in order to move forward !! Let go of the small stuff and be greatful for the ups and downs ! As always, written with love and ongoing good wishes !!
G.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)