And so the story continues, a journey of eternal belief that one day this body of mine will wake up and work ! This may be a long blog, but humour me in your persistence of my journey. To connect nerve endings to brain connecting in my ever, ongoing quest of finding my legs again. Things have been a little slow of late as my right hip has been giving me a bit of jib. So, OT's slow passive Physio exersizes continue until such time as we get the orthopaedic specialists report from the scans, X-rays and MRI's - we wait in hope !!!
In a " nut shell ", and responding to the many enquirers from you guys about my life prior to my injury, I was born into an average middle class family, hatched in Northern Rhodesia, a British Colony at the time, now known as Zambia. Relocated to South Africa, come from divorced parents, amicably , both re-married, with an injection of numerous siblings, educated in a private Christian school, and went on to study horticulture. Rather for the name than the passion, and partly to delay the compulsory military service at the time in SA. Enlisted, did my time, only to finish with a " what now " attitude ? Dabbled in the plant world for a while, trying to find my feet in life again, with little satisfaction, and them made a, what I thought would be an easy change to my life........
It was a decision that would alter friendships, bring heartache and pain to all around me, most of all to myself, but looking back now it's a choice I would definitely take again - but this time without the immature honesty that I had all those years ago. I was free, I was selfish, I was out to take life on, and how wrong I was, how incredibly hard the road I had chosen would be, I never imagined !!! Skip a couple of years, and....... The partying, the recreational drugs, the self absorbed ego of being in control of myself soon began to diminish into a downward spiral of " up all night and sleep all day " scenario. Fate has a way of good intentions, and I was one of the fortunate ones in the crowd of friends I was hanging with - as we slowly watched each other starting to lose life's values, possessions, control, our businesses, and even our friendship !!!
Talking about fate, years previous to this party phase I was introduced to an incredibly intuitive lady by the name of Di, who later became a friend, then business partner, then soulmate - who never gave up on me. Never judged and never labled me. Many, and I mean MANY a morning banging on my door to haul me out of my bed and get me to work etc etc. I was half way there ! And am eternally greatful to her. Then one night I met someone by the name of Cyril, who, himself had been through life's cruel twists of fate. He was successful, anti drugs, a huge grounding influence on my life - instilling a new outlook in my attitude towards life and the future - again, eternally greatful to him for helping me re-focus my life. All through this incredibly destructive phase I was going through, was Greg, another huge influence in pulling my life, and the lives of all of the gang together. We were acquaintances rather than friends, until he lost his life long partner to cancer. We started meeting a couple of times a week to walk the sea front promenade - it was his gentle coaxing and our deep conversations that I will remember for life ! We became real friends ! - Thank you Greg !!! Not withstanding the above and not forgetting my wide circle of friends and family, who all played a part in my getting out of the big black hole I was trying so hard to get out of. Some knowing, but most not actually knowing what was really going on.
So, back to the more recent. Seven years ago I made the decision to relocate to London, leaving behind my friends, family and fantastic social life. Moved, created a new life here and give thanks to JJ for the wonderful apartment sharing we had at No 97 !!!. I had a job, a life, a freedom of Londons arts, culture, and hardships that come with living in the city that Oscar Wilde stated " when you tire of London, you tire of life ".
I joined the 50's club here and fate decided to play a curved ball !!! Devastating changes to my lifestyle - and a life changing injury called SCI - I'm cripple, wheelchair bound, and happy ! Yes happy, and thankful for the function that the universe has restored in me !! Happy to be alive, although not scared of death ! Happy to share my experience and more determined to make a difference to abled bodied or disabled people. that folks is where I'm at. So 0 to 50, able bodied and thankful for the 50 years of experiencing life with legs. 50 to 0, within a mere half hour, life changing spinal bleed, which has changed my life forever, opened different doors, and made me so aware of just how fragile life is !! Be thankful for what you have, be it good, be it bad, be it what you think is a major problem - just embrace, accept and conquer life's cards dealt to you.
And back to the present !!. Every SCI has a different outcome as to the gaining of mobility and recovery - some far more gainful, some less, and some, heartbreakingly non existent. One of the predominant aspects of this condition so evident during rehab was the sexual function after injury. Dependent on ones level of injury, determines the function of what boils down to basics of life - Sex !, love-making,... Call it what you want ! During rehab, " they " offer clinics, viagra, cialis, sexual aid advice etc etc etc, WELL.... I had my first sexual experience, in public just the other day..... And it goes like this......
With a one day cover of a double up carer, a tiny Philipino girl, Gracie, we decide to troll the high streets of second hand furniture, charity shops and bargains on offer. I get bored with the one shop and opt to go out for a cigg whilst she finishes up inside. I'm outside, minding my own business, getting my cigs and lighter out, lighting up ( and unbeknown to me Gracie has come out and is behind me ). Up walks a rather scruffy elderly lady with bleach blond greasy hair, smiles at me, lifts my bag on my lap and proceeds to grab my privates and says " ya want some of this ?, I give you squeeze and pleasure ! " I'm lost for words, slap her hand away, she giggles, repeats the ball and claw groping of my privates, and says " I just want a cigg, luv ". I give her a cigg on the condition she goes away. Gracie then asks me if she is a friend of mine. NO, I answer, and Gracie says..... " But shi grabba jor coki !! "
Shi notta loud to tucha jor coki, I tell her to fuka orf !!! ". So, friends, there is hope !, I had my first sexual encounter with a chav, aging bag-lady on the high street !!!
Then, a couple of Sunday's ago, Meezie and I head out to the Shorditch antique / boot market. We have a private system going where we decide what we want, he goes back and offers a low bid, gets rejected, then I go back and offer a little more. Sometimes we are lucky, sometimes not, but it's fun all the same !! And we have a good laugh. So whilst he's gone I'm sitting on the pavement and a dodgy, rasta man sidles up to me and asks if I smoke gunga, or need pills, or snow ( coke ). I mean...., the only cripple within a 10 mile radius and this geyser hits on me !!! I look up at him and say " yes, how much do you need ? "....... He looks at me, gob smacked ! And then I say " listern, MATE, I'm an undercover cop, and we are doing a surveillance reiki here ". You could almost see him turn white !!! Gone, faded into the crowd like dust !!
Finally, after two months of carer shuffling, negotiations with care company and my recruiting of PA's, this week has begun with, hopefully our awesome foursome team. Mishki and Martini alternating as live In's - both Czech, martini recruited from my ski trip, both competent, respectful of all needs and running on a two week on / off basis allowing them to go back to Czech Republic on their off period. Diana, also recruited from my Sweden trip has started as my Monday to Friday double up. OT and Physio trained and a gem to have on board - willing, able and totally competent with all needed for my daily care and wellbeing !!! Will post pics of us all soon.
Having entered into my third year since my injury, and learned so much along this journey, I remain positive in making a difference with seeing the world from a different perspective. Always be appreciative of what you have, be it small or large, let go of the small stuff, and tell the ones you love !! - Life is fragile and unpredictable.
Posted with love and ongoing good health wishes !!!
G.
