When Reality Sets In ...........

Hi again, and apologies for the wide gap in blogging ! Cyril arrived last Friday, and we have been on the go every day !! For the first time since leaving Alcatraz , I finally realised what they meant about the protective bubble bursting once leaving the cocooned environment offered by the instition called Stanmore.

Having been released now for 6 weeks, I have busied myself with reems of paperwork which accumulated over the months of my hospitalization. Not really venturing to far away from home. Relying heavily on the Jeeve's to do petty chores such as posting letters, buying milk etc etc. the reality being that my sub-conscience was not wanting me to face the everyday ups and downs, together with the frustrations of being wheelchair bound ! - My bubble soon to be burst !!!

Friday was spent crisscrossing London in search of " The Vic " bar - from Eastenders - Yes, can you believe it ..... C is an avid fan of this soapy ! To no avail, and only to find out that the bar is fictitious ! Built inside the filming studio - So....... That was all kind of a wast of time, but we did get to see some parts of London that I had never been to, most of them that I don't want to see again !

Saturday we met up with Nic & Graham in Kingston for lunch on the river. As always, plenty of laughs, fantastic food, and plenty of Pinot Grigio ! With Nic monitoring my every sip ! And making sure that I was sipping from my water bottle at regular intervals ! She has become my " outside mother ", very protective of my wellbeing, and I love it !


A very well attended flower market, unyet loads of Londoners don't know about it is the Columbia Road flower market. I stand to be corrected, but I believe it is one of the oldest markets in London. A heaving mass of people bartering with the sellers for various bunches of blooms ! A gem of an experience, coupled with numerous eclectic, cafes who put tables and chairs out on the pavements !

One can spend the day just people watching, with buskers plying their CD's. Sadly, being in a chair
renders it almost impossible for me to negotiate the small road with heaving masses of people. My only option is to sit at a pavement cafe and have Jeeve's running backwards and forwards with bunches of flowers for my approval ! AGAIN, it dawns on me just how restrictive it is in a chair ! I do not like this, and check to self - harder work with physio's, in my quest to walk. With heaps of flowers and Cyclomine plants to replace the herbs that are slowly dying as the winter creeps in, we hail a cab to get us home - pure bliss, as the cobbled streets play havoc with my spasms, which makes me contort and twist much like Uri Geller's ( spelling ? ) spoons !!!


Another realisation of my restrictions came when we made our way to a show in the west end last night. Oh Soho, Soho, a stomping ground of brilliant restuarants, bars and sex shops. A part of London that has tourists just HAVE to see. One of the gay capitals of the world ! Anything, and I mean anything goes ! Drag queens, out on the streets waiting to perform their acts in dingy bars, a
diverse mixture of street sweepers to doctors and lawyers ! Punks to conservative accountants ! A part of the city that never sleeps !!! Some very fond memories of some very enjoyable times, Sharron and Errol, Heidi, and Cindy etc etc where we have celebrated birthdays in these buzzy bars and shows - in the days of legs !

So as I manoeuvre my chair down the drag, cursing and swearing at the cobbled pavements, some ramps at the intersections, some not, the realisation again sets in ! I long for my legs ! Most of the bars are not chair friendly, and to be honest, I notice that there is not another person in a chair ! The stares, re-organisation of furniture to get into the bars that don't have steps etc etc etc - makes me more determined to find my legs again !!

Miss Siagon - A must to see ! I had seen this 20 odd years ago, but with a completely different take
this show is outstanding ! Do go and see it !!! One advantage, is that the only seating available for wheelchairs is in one of the side boxes - amazing show, amazing position......Go and see it !

Then on a more somber note, a few of you might remember Colin, Colin du Plessis, a man who gave of his time whilst Jan, Cyril and myself tried to set up a food market in Durban. He gave unconditional support and helped all of the stall holders, making burgers, boerie roles, helping with the coffee making etc etc etc. unfortunatly and very unexpectantly passed away yesterday. May he rest in peace.

As always, this blog is written with love and hoping that we can all be thankful for what we have. Remember that we are only lent to this world and none of us knows what awaits us around the corner. Look ahead, be compassionate, and most importantly be yourself.

XXX

G.

Wheels an' Thanks !

Well the trip to Wheelchair Services was a waste of time ! Really pisses on my battery as my new chair was supposedly going to be A1 and I was to walk / wheel out of there feeling grand ! ,!,.....Well no thanks, spoke with technitions and NO , they agreed that it would be in my best interest to leave with what I have apposed to the manipulated, so called chair - Stanmore OT's are gonna bE livid !!!!. So that out of the way, and new parts on order, we wait another 6-8 weeks !!! Time and 'elf n Safty are one in all and need to be respected here ! God if only they knew how we have defied the rules
. So bottom line, I remain with the half built chair that was delivered on discharge. I can live with that !  Coz, I have to !!!!!! The pains of a crip, slide gently into a whiter shade of pale !.

Now that I am on the outside, and slowly getting to terms with real life in a chair, there are so many people that deserve thanks beyond words ! My folks who, for 2 months kept my excersises going, everyday massaged my awfully skinny legs, continually re-assuring me that things would be ok in the end ! At their age, they should not have had to endure the trauma that I caused them ! Thanks D &D - Lintz cockiest will forever be a reminder of those dark days of " no-body " quite knows where I will land up. Is it neuro or is it spinal ???

The numerous prayer chains around the world - How can I thank you ? Apart from saying THANK YOU !! !  My good friend Jen, who also made it her mission to see me every weekend ! Thanks Jen,
who kept me in grapes for the week, as well as chockolate - a psassion I soooooo was not to eat - love you Jen ! I will  never eat a slab of chockie again without thinking of you. Cadbury mates for life ! Grapes I will never eat again !!! .

My darling ditsy Shesh, who came to encourage me whenever she could get away ! Thank you my Shesh for many a fabulous visit to the dismal ward that eventually became home to me !! Love you Shesh !!

 Then there is Nic and Graaaaahm !, my cousins that visited every weekend, bar 2 when they had to take up a hotel gift from their kids, and the other , when there was no transport. A bond formed that nobody will ever be able to crack ! Love you both !! And Thank you !!! Sunday's just don't feel the same anymore - but they will.

In no particular order, as I am sure you will understand, as I am typing with one finger and remembering as I go - there is Jo and Justin, and the Genisis team, who transformed my basic home into a perfectly liveable homely pad ! Adding that touch of " lived in " feeling ! Together with the unspoken deed that Jo did ! No amount of thanks could ever show the appreciation I have for them. But, I thank you all the same ! Gods blessings !

My good friend of at least 30 years, Peter, who together with the rest, made it his mission to see me as often as possible ! Often to be rejected by the nursing staff or myself saying go away ! Peter, you are a legend ! Love you, and thank you for your continual positive nature that definitely rubbed off on me !

Then there are the friends that visited when they could ! Much appreciated ! Again, thank you for your  input, and positive gestures !

The staff, nurses, and all Involved at Stanmore, need recognition for their total dedication ! Love, and miss you all - but sooooo happy to be on the outside !

Forgive me if I have forgotten to mention you in this blog , I will boil it down to a stroke and loss of memory ! Hope you can do the same :)  As always, love you, and remember to thank God for all small mercies !!

G.

Weeks or weaks ?

As I ease gently into the week, maintaining the morning regime, and handling the Jeeves handover to be a constant for every Monday morning ..... Please God, can this just go smoothly every Monday ? Far too much testosterone with these change overs. Jeeves 1 ( 24/7 ) handing over to Jeeves2 (24/7 ) and the ' I know better ' attitude starts to get on my nerves !!! I show my irritation in my voice - just get going with all of it, and let's get on with it !!!

Unfortunatley, the second Jeeves is gonna have to be replaced - I have given him a chance, consulted with the agency, and have made up my mind !. Having taken control of my care, and being so reliant on these two carers, I am still having to direct the regime to him. Sounds like I am trying to justify my thought process - not intended, and will do what my gut tells me to do. ( It has never let me down before. )

Tomorrow is another big day for me. Have a final appointment with Wheelchair Services, who have called to say that the parts on order have arrived. Final fitting ! One step closer to getting my chair as close to the specs that Stanmore created for me. Thankfully I have a meeting with the OT's and Physio's on Monday, with Stanmore, to make final tweeks to make my chair as user friendly as possible. Then it is on to physio in the local community with the neuro physio ! So looking forward to being up on my feet again ! Will give you a rundown on how it goes !

Until then good people, I bid you a good night, and as always, be greatful for what we have.

With love.

G.

Pavement special !

With the PG wearing off by mid morning on Friday, I ease gently into finding out where ? What ? How come ? Various oddities applied for in order to make daily living more bearable. It turns out to be a " to do " day and with the help of my double up, phillopino guy that threw his toys at the doctors the previous week ! Bless him, Rod is the English name I have for him ! He responds to it and giggles every time I call him for whatever menial task required.

Whhheeeerrrreeeee is Jo freedom paaas ? He asks. I don't know I respond. Give meeee da foil, he says. " Foil " I ask - we ain't cooking here I retort - working out that he is requesting the file with all the application corrospondence ! He gets on the fone, has the whole of London counsil, tracking my pass - with his broken English, he manages to rattle everyone's cage with threats about abuse !, non- conformity, and social injustice !!! - my pass was delivered Saturday morning. I like Rod !!!

He had earlier, during morning regime, asked Jeeve's 1for " Da crem " E45 moisturising cream, imperative for skin care of a spinal cord injury - my skin is like paper-thin, and Jeeve's 1 says that there is a little left in the container. " Dat noot agkceptible " how da patient seposed toooo liv witout crem ? " I intervene and inform that it is on the shopping list and tesco will be delivering later today. Mumble jumble hissing under his breath !

So, back to the paperwork, he snatches the doctors info out of the foil, gets on the blower to the doctors rooms, and adds it to the script list ! No kidding, this half pint has clout !! About an hour later, door bell goes, doctors delivery of E45 cream - I like Rod !!! Jo sav niiiirrrrly fiv poounds if doctor supliiiiies !

We plough through the last of the paperwork, save for my late submission of last taxes. I have methodically waded through the reems of corrospondence, and have been in touch with HRM revenue services, and am awaiting the form to absolve me of the penalties for late payment etc etc - they have been extremely helpful ! Rod says " lit meeee av a go " I decline, and for want of taking the pressure off myself, kinda thought might just " piss on their batteries " This one, I tell him, I will handle!!

The rest of the afternoon is spent reorganising cupboards, shelves and laundry - phillopino style ! Complete shambles created into a rigid, orderly fashion in no time ! I like Rod !!! I now know why the primary Jeeve's don't like him - he is fast, efficient, and extremely verbal.

Roll on Saturday, my other favourite double up for weekends is Rameez, a forward thinking, gentle soul, who I am able to have the most interesting discussions with ! We banter about his Muslim beliefs as apposed to my Buddhist theories. I have an ongoing argument that I embrace the idea of death whereas he just needs a hoodie, back-pack, and he is gonna meet the 40 virgins ! Hello !!

So, Rameez asks " when was the last time you left the apartment ? " ...... I answer, and he says, right, we are gonna dress you up warmly and I am taking you on a tour of the area ! I do not resist, as it is slowly becoming apparent to me, that it is just toooo much of a planning thing to go out ! Not good !,

We dress up, and off we head into the nearby neighbourhood ! As he so wisely put it " you can travel the world and see nothing, but you can walk around the block and see everything " how wise !!!!!
I am now adopting this approach with every sphere of my life, and I encourage you to do the same ! Think about it, embrace it, accept it, and open your eyes to the closeness around you as apposed to looking beyond the achievable - Be Real with yourself ! I am only on day 2 of it, and you would be amazed !

I live in the shittest neighbourhood when it comes to pavement scoops, cobbled streets and pavements ! No pressure relief for my bum needed for at least two days. We fight our way around the streets, breaking all the rules again for wheelchair maintenance ! Market we were searching for - closed ! High street shops all closed ! But we were out and about, and that is good for recovery !!

Jeeve's 1, allowed me to sleep in this morning - huge privilege, but by living 50 meters away from a cathedral has its cons ! Bells, bells, bells ......... Until 12 noon ! , no sleep in had !!!!!!!!! But stayed in bed until 10. I was meeting N & G at the local pub for lunch - great afternoon. So tonight has been, X Factor and now Downton Abbey !,,

Sleep tight all,

With love

G.

Wine and then Whine !

So I get a text from JJ yesterday, saying that she has a serious amount of fresh pasta that needs cooking, and that diner was needed at number 9 ( that is my apartment ). She would like to bring it over and cook up a storm with all the ingredients that are well past their " sell by dates ", a fabulous trick we had when we shared " digs " together, was to throw it all into the hotpot and make a stew ! Always turned out fantastically well and we would revel in the fact that we had saved a buck by using the hotpot ! - God , I think we both miss those days !!! But, as life throws its inexplicable hurdles at you, you just get on with it, and as my good friend Jo says " deal with it "

She arrives very flustered as on leaving home, realises that Mike has taken the car to rugby practice, and she now has to take public transport ! Yes PUBLIC transport as in one stop on the tube - HELLO
- not even during peak time !!! Ma'daaaam is NOT used to this. But has no option !! En route I get a text to say that she has invited the Yank, and that Mike will join us later - after practice.

We catch up on all the ag...... Prior to anybody arriving, BUT, how does one do that ?............ First, you pour yourself a large glass of PG ( Pinot Gricio ), then all the ag flows !!! How do you cook ?........ Secondly you pour yourself a second large glass of PG, to get the culinary skills going ! All the while Jeeves hovering in the background waiting in anticipation for dishes to wash !

By the time diner is cooked, many a PG, consumed and life is once again beautiful !!!!,  we have sorted out the Syria shit, the monetary state of the world etc etc etc - oh how great to re-create old times in my pad as apposed to being in 97 ! My friend, flat mate, and possibly the one person that knows me best is her ol' self and happy to be utilising what is available to cook with - no le crouset pans here !!! Basic copper bottomed pots will just have to do.

Jeeves, still hovering, and is most concerned about the fact that guests need to be served a dessert, in true Romanian fashion, has whispered to me on two occasions that there are not enough bowls to serve the ice-cream !!! He is most indignant when I say to him, well we will just have to put the ice-cream in the centre of the room, and all eat out the tub ! Funny how things pan out in life - I cannot, and will not, sweat the small stuff - if they are friends, they would eat out the tub ! Agreed ?

As life takes it........ Nobody wanted dessert, coz, nobody was offered it - that double clotted cream, ice-cream is ear marked for Tom, anyway !! So, let's have another PG.........

By 11:30, I tell all to please go home...... My 4 x4 has becomes an 8 x 8, speech is a little slurry, and the hoist seems to be a bit like the bungee jump off the Vic Falls bridge ! I ask Jeeves to put me to bed. As servants do he obliges, positions me correctly, gives me all the gadgets to boot, switches off the light and says " see you at 6 " I slide gently into lala land.

6am Comes far to quickly !!!!! The Jeeve's have been given STRICT instructions that there is absolutely no deviation from the morning regime ! Under NO circumstances are we to alter the morning schedule that I have put into place.

I ' buy' myself 1 hour - Jeeves long faced and unimpressed says he will allow me until 7 to gather any kind of normal senblance and that is IT ! At 7, there is NO abating - Jeeves is there to start the day, readying me for so called work !

I feel like shit ! Excersizes begin, legs won't bend, spasms uncontrollable, and absolutely no sympathy from Jeeves ! We have a schedule now and I was lucky enough to buy an extra hour of sleep. That's it !! Fare play to him, with lots of whinging and whining, morning excersises, completed and the regime continues ! Me like a bear with a sore head - looking for any excuse to bellow at him ! By now the double up has arrived, and everything runs smoothly, much to my horror !! Ready by 8am !!!

Note to self - PG in moderate amounts, and when JJ says she is coming for din's, make sure she is gone by 9 !!

As always,  be greatfull for what we have, be it family, friends, health or wealth. Nothing can go with us.. And remember that nothing is everything !

Love ya

G.

Taking control - has worked !!

The new morning regime seems to be panning out quite well !, The carers, and the double ups appear to like the more formal structure put in place by myself. The day begins at 6am, starting with excersises, bowel care and by 7, the double up arrives to assist with hoisting, showering and then dressing - enabling myself to be ready to leave the apartment by 8. Although there is nowhere to be leaving to, if we can achieve this after such short a period, by the end of the month the whole process should be streamlined enough for me to be going to work with as little stress as possible knowing full well that there is plenty time to get there ! I like this, and so do the carers ! Pity it was not summer, but hay-ho, that is the way it is !

At last, my taxi card application was approved, and card arrived in the post. I won't waste time in explaining the benefits thereof surfice to say that it allows me to book cabs suitable to accomodate my chair, am allowed a maximum of 3 guests to travel with me, and I pay £2,50 for the trip, and the council picks up the balance of the fare ! Very, very clever ploy to encourage getting out and about,coz, as Alcatraz said - it is very easy to become a recluse as any outing requires such planning and sorting, that it is easier to just at home. I am determined NOT to be one of those !!!!!! Used the service to go to Physio - Again, pleasantly hoisted into standing position, still a long way to go but inch by inch the progress continues !! Sadly, with extra binding around the mid rift prompted extra pressure to the bowels, and after 20 mins.........they had had enough and discided to make themselves known !!!! - Physio cut short and off to one of the well equiped bathrooms for the nescessary.........

Had the district nurse over this afternoon to change my supbrapubic cathater - a procedure that I have not had since being in Alcatraz, slightly nerve wracking as it entails precise and accurate movements - deflating a balloon inside the bladder in order to pull out the tube, then inserting the new cathater,
and re-inflating a new balloon - all to be done in literally seconds to avoid the site closing.... Which would mean hospitalisation to get sorted ! No need ......... Darling Annabel, the district nurse, now nicknamed ' Darling ' was brilliant ! Done in minutes, perfect fit, no need to worry - all water works
working and tested ! Note to self - Darling will visit every 6 weeks to do the same thing.... No need to worry !!!!!

TOMORROW : ( Thursday )

I had had a call from the Southwark Council, needing to inspect the property as well as doing an appraisal on myself as to weather or not I qualify for a Council tax reduction ! A service offered to the disabled - BUT, with all the cuts in benefits etc, they now seemingly need to inspect and check up on all those claiming to be " disabled ". So with my best cripple look - in chair, both hands and arms in splints, Jeeves opens the door to let the inspector in and escorts him into the lounge where I am. I say " Good morning, I would get up and shake your hand, but it is a tad difficult as I am paralised, and my hands are in splints !! " He takes one look at me and asked if he can look around. This takes exactly 2 minutes and he returns to me in the lounge - " All ok ? " I ask, and he says that all criteria have been met, and he will submit his report suggesting " No tax applicable ". Let's hope he gets that right ! So what was supposed to have been a " 30 minute " appointment was done and dusted in about 5 minutes.

Got to get to signing out now as Jeeves 2 has come through to me to remind me that it is feet therapy time again. Part of the new structure in place is for the double up to do three foot massages per day. He has found me some " guru juice " from the Philopino shop, which claims to have magical power of all sorts - I will experiment with anything, and with the Physio's good order-ahead !, I get to have three soothing massages per day - amazing way to stimulate better blood flow on the left hand side.

As always, be thankful for what we have. Live, love, laugh, and be positive in going forward with life. Don't forget, if you looking at the shadows behind you, you are not going forward !!

Love ya,
G

Pig headed, Bone head, Air head, or Cock head ?

Well the new morning regime has begun !!! Carers not happy with the new regime - I , do not care ! It is time to take control again and as I previously said, this ' getting ' independence is of utmost importance to the recovery of functionality. Jeeves 2 ( 24/7 ) arrives for handover and is totally confused with the hive of activity. It is working - we managed to reduce the process by 45 minutes..... Both Jeeves 1 and the double up carer seem utterly exhausted and both of them slide away into their quarters with a strong cup of coffee.

It is imperative that we get this right in going forward to enable me to be readied to leave home at around 8 to get to work. With the approval of Stanmore, normal duties for work as of 1st November, seems like another release from Alcatraz ! Funny how, almost exactly 1year has past, and I am abled enough to resume working life ! - God, how different I must seem !!! - He obviously has a plan for me, as questionable as it might be !

As explained to me at Alcatraz, various changes would start once released - sounded all so foreign at the time, but ohhhhhhh how true ! Tiny steps forward....... Jeeves 1 noticed that my feet had started to sweat, then my left ear has started to gain some feeling, and according to stats I should not sweat below my injury - in essence, my head only, well be that as it may, YES, my head sweats hence the title of this blog ............ Definitly not a Cock-head, but rather a Sweat-head !! Gotta be one for the book - a whole chapter on " Heads ".........Does that not open up pages of literature to work on ? ..............Knysna Heads, Head-buts, Head-aches, Head-winds, Heads-up, Heads-or-tails etc etc etc etc.....will definitely have to work on that !

Trying desperately to catch up on the news, have Sky news blabbing on in the back-round, thanks to Jo for setting it all up !! And by all accounts, can be greatful that I don't have the Ebola virus.......Well am I ????

As always, be greatful for small mercies ! Love you loads and be in touch ! Responses soooooo appreciated . Take care and be as responsible as your HEAD allows.

With love.

G.

First reality check !

Ok, ok , ok......... My bubble slightly shattered, but, hell, I think I can cope. A follower of mine messages me to say..." Well Gavin, your Facebook profile pic shows you as a very abled bodied person, so I don't get your blogging " .......... My first response to come to mind was, stolen from Kathrine Tate's comical DVD's............" How veeeeerrrrrrryyyyyy dare you ", but I don't think he would get it !!!.
Yes... My profile pic was taken on a holiday in Hong Kong, at the top of the peak, and yes, I was standing. Apologies to all and sundry for not having updated my pic...... But, in going forward with my present condition, I think that that pic, encourages me with my quest to regain full function of this  rather stubborn bod ! To avoid any confusion, I have made a mental note to change that pic, as the determination from within far out weighs any logistics in the mind to use that pic as a frame of reference !!! Had never really thought about it, but maybe there is a point in his observation - will post a pic of the cripple me in the hopes that this follower can conceptualise the extremities of this injury ! If not, will block him permanently from the site - Like I want to be in this situation !!!!

Today started off as a rather gloomy, normal, London autumn day - grey sky's, rain and just a touch of wind. After an amazing Physio session yesterday, and having accomplished shelving space in the store cupboards, I tasked myself with the organisation of drawers, pantry cupboard and hall cupboard, with the intention of minimising the time taken each morning to ready myself for the day.

Current Jeeves has a long face, as I have told him that the normal 2,5 hours needs to be reduced to 1 hour - not possible he says. WELL, I say it has to happen otherwise we need to re-assess your caring abilities - further long face. I instruct to take everything out of the chest of drawers, together with any supplies from the hall cupboard. Over loading of all sorts - made up of 1 drawer now for a streamline morning regime ! Jeeves 2  ( double up ) fully understands where I am coming from ! I feel better !!

Jeeves 2 ( 24/7 ) arrives for change over on Monday morning ! So let's see what his response is gonna be ? I assume not pleased as I am now taking complete control of my care - Something closer to regaining more independence. From constant reminders that we are running out of various supplies, to an overload of supplies randomly showed into drawers never to be seen again !

So, we are all set for a new morning regime - will keep you posted !

The unfortunate thing about ( SCI ) , spinal cord injury, is that you are never assured of the following day's outcome. Maybe hectic spasms, unpredictable  bowels, just feeling shitty, there is no reason or explanation but, you just have to get on with it and deal with whatever faces you ! I am sure that the wine aids in the discomfort which follows the following day !!!!! But, there is precious little to give up now to warrant any kind of more pleasurable following day !!

So, as I slowly sip my Pinot Gricio, watching the herbs grow on the small balcony, I can only but say that life is good for the moment. Live in the moment, embrace what we have, and always remember, if you can see the shadows behind you, you are not moving forward !

Love Ya
G.

I'm Still standing !!!!

So today was first introduction into the Physio's space in the community ! A space, out of my usual regime governed by the hospital's choices of time, readiness and " what shall we do with him today " slot !!! I really miss my old team who for months on end, battled, and tried every route to enable the bodily function to resume as much function as possible ! Cecilia, Debs, Rachel, and loads more I will love you forever for your ever breaking  rules of Physio.

Out in the real world, I kinda thought that would all dissapte into some sort of oblivion, all parties wrapped up in their next challenge that Stanmore provided . How  wrong I was !!!!! Attended my first Physio session on the outside, who knew my injury, my inexplicable quest to walk as well as my full inability to make my legs work !! I thank you all at Stanmore, most importantly, Cecelia for handing me over to a compitent case study.

Having had them in my home, with various stretching eecersises etc etc , I made my merry way to the resource centre today . Yes, yes, yes..... Slings available etc, etc, I was able to stand for about 30 mins.

All is falling into place !! I will encourage all sorts to make it all happen !

Love ya all for the support !

XXXX

G.

Home sweet home !

have had so many requests from people wanting to know about where I live. Lise ( alias, IT Guru ), and I have spent the past hour working out how to upload picture - she working on a Mac, and myself on an iPad !!! Quite frustrating, but gotta give her 100% for her sheer determination, and utmost patients with my slow IT " skills " - Love you Lise !!!!

I had made up my mind in Alcatraz that when I finally got release I would have an open wardrobe !! Such a small luxury as choosing what to wear fast dissipates into oblivion, and those awfully becoming hospital ' back-to-front ' gowns become a way of life !. Daytime attire depends on what is dry, and as I had a policy of buy-to-toss, many a trip into Watford for cheap trackies andT-shirts that could be tossed out, meant as little washing as possible - although I gotta hand it to Mark-Adam, Armondo and Chrissies for their sneak washes on numerous occasions whilst on night duty, in the spinal utility room. My bed is such a passion thriller !!!!!, typically hospital standard, trying to be disguised as a normal run of the mill bed - all the mod-cons of lifting, tilting etc etc, Please God, don't let this be forever !

And here is the kitchen , completely adapted for a wheelchair user ( manual ), so although I am, in most parts not able to fit my chair undercounted, it is still very user friendly. The general rule now is that I position myself in the middle and direct one of the Jeeve's through all the cooking instructions -

A very spread out lounge area to enable easy access for me. So unlike any of my previous homes, all furniture pushed to the sides to accomodate the 4x4 ! The far end showing the doors to a small but adequate balcony. Most of my time at home spent halfway through the door getting as much of the fresh air as possible.

These are my hanging, fresh herbs that are a must for cooking purposes. Both the Jeeve's think that I am mad to be cutting fresh condiments for the everyday cooking. They maintain that it is far easier to use the dried bottle herbs ! I disagree ....

Lastly, and certainly one of the best purchases ever made was my soothing lava lamp, which by all accounts is never turned off. I have taken solice in watching the oil and wax transforming into their own magical dance on many occasions ! Giving